Planting an Acorn

Getting Over My Fear

2011-10-01T19:43:00.000-07:00

I think you would enjoy hanging out with my friend Lance for a day. He is fun. He is a forty something guy in a hawaiian shirt and a pair of pink converse. People are drawn to him naturally. He will talk to anyone. It's fun to hang out with Lance.

What I love about Lance though is that he sees the opportunities around him to make a difference. Small things we can do to make this world a better place. Lance does this because he loves God. He doesn't do this for his own credit. He taught me how to 'love thy neighbor'.

We've all seen the opportunities, but how many of us have actually listened to that small voice? Lance just does it. He will push a car stuck in the snow bank. He will help a pregnant waitress working the late shift alone by clearing the tables as he quietly exits the restaurant. He will talk to strangers and give them encouraging words. I do see those opportunities often but I rarely follow my heart. I get scared. I make excuses and then I regret.

Today, I saw a woman with two children walking with many bags of groceries. I stopped and offered to carry her groceries. She lives 20 minutes away. She hesitated. I insisted. So, for twenty minutes, we chatted and got to know each other. My new friend is from Kashmir. She is beautiful. Her husband runs the new restaurant in town. She wants to learn to drive. She is unsure of this new town. Her husband works long hours. We arrived at her house and she said to me, "Please come in. I will make you tea". I accepted her offer and she made me a cup of beautiful tea infused with cardamom and clove served in a gold rimmed tea cup. We chatted some more. I asked her if she had any women she could spend time with while her husband is working. She said, "You are my first friend here", as she looked at me with beautiful deep brown eyes. I said, "You must come to my house soon and we will have more tea". She smiled.

Funny thing about this incident is that I have met her children before at my kids' school. They kind of rubbed me the wrong way at first and I've been avoiding them whenever I was at school. They were so friendly to the point of making me uncomfortable. They invaded my personal space bubble. I judged them. Today, I saw how small my heart has been. I am thankful for this second chance. Now, I have a new friend and I have the courage when the next opportunity comes my way.

Thanks be to God.

This Morning in My Kitchen....

2011-09-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

Poor men. Sorry we put you up to this all the time. ;)

Makiko: (emerges from the bedroom dressed in jeans. After months of exercising, she thinks the jeans are fitting better)

"How Do I look?"

Scott: (Oblivious to her inner thoughts, fixing lunch for the kids in the kitchen. After a quick glance.)

"You look fine"

Makiko: (gives him the *stink eye)

"I mean, HOW DO I LOOK?" (now, the capital letters mean louder voice)

Scott: (stops his hands and takes another look)

"I mean, your hair needs to be combed, but you look fine"

After a little silence......

Makiko: "DO I LOOK SKINNY?"

Scott: (disappears for 2 seconds, runs back into the kitchen, with hands up in the air, gives Makiko a man hug, wide eyed)

"HOLY SMOKES! LOOK AT YOU!? YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE! LOOK AT YOUR SKINNY LITTLE WAIST!!!!!!!!!"

Scott & Makiko: Burst out laughing......

Another Epic Fail Moment

2011-09-20T08:34:00.000-07:00

It's September and officially my garden zucchini production has become an annoyance than a joy. After staring at a huge mountain of yellow zucchinis and pattypan squash for a week, I finally decided to make zucchini loaves to put in my freezer.......at 10:30 at night.

Now, I do not own a food processor. My little food grinder broke last winter. So I am left with a cheese grinder. I start shredding my zucchinis by hand--the old fashion way.

Scott walks into the kitchen. "Do you want me to help you with something?"

"Oh sure". "Would you mind just starting the batter while I shred these? I can take over and finish later"

So he cheerfully starts on the loaf batter. This recipe makes two loaves. I have one loaf pan. Each loaf takes 1hr to bake. You do the math. While the first cake is in the oven, we decided to pick a movie on Netflix to pass the time. Scott picks a movie. He assures me it's a light comedy. I don't like it and I told him so. Without a word of complaint, he starts up another movie which is more girl-friendly.

I remember the first 10 minutes of the movie and I was gone. Fast asleep. I don't remember anything after that.

Next morning, I woke up. Scott had gone to work already as usual (he's usually gone before 7). I walk into the kitchen. I saw two beautiful zucchini loaves politely sitting on my kitchen counter.

This makes me either the biggest jerk or the luckiest woman on the entire planet....or maybe both.

At the Shopping Mall Yesterday....

2011-08-29T10:39:00.001-07:00

I hate shopping. I really do. I hate aggressive sales person even more. I particularly hate those kiosks in the middle of the mall with really aggressive sales people attending them. Over priced dead sea cosmetics and fancy nail kits. They make you wash your hands in weird goo and put a little 'nail art' on your kids' middle fingers. I really love it when my kids give me the finger because they want to show me the cool nail art.

"Today only!"

"Only for you. I will give it to you for half price, but don't tell your friends".

And if you *politely* decline, they always give you and your children the silent treatment. "Why isn't he talking to us anymore, mommy?" "He was so nice a minute ago".

Yesterday was no exception. I was in a mall against my will. Kids wanted to take me into this shop and that. I avoided eye contact with all sales people with trays in their hands. Why do they have to wear lab coats to sell soaps? I was doing really well. Then all of a sudden, this guy came flying out of nowhere and had me 'cornered' in the middle of the mall.

"Can I ask you a question?" He said cheerfully.

"Sure." I replied suspiciously.

"How do you care for your girls' hair" He is looking at my 3 girls. I look over and he is selling ceramic hair straightener. "I brush their hair", I reply. At this point, he gives me the well-rehearsed reply. "you mean to tell me you don't care for your daughters' hair?!" "Why do you not curl and style their hair?" His hands are flying in the air to suggest he is in shock. "Drama Queen", I mutter under my breath.

Then I told him something which made me so proud of myself. Usually when I am confronted by aggressive people, I tend to let them dominate the conversation and get defeated. I always come up with good witty comebacks later. Sounds familiar?

I told him, "I don't believe I should be promoting vanity at such young age. They are beautiful just as they are" , I told him with a smile.

He got quiet for a moment. He then asked me what I did with my hair.

"I have the exact hair straightener you are selling and I love it", and I wasn't even lying when I said that.

I high-fived my confidence and walked away with my three gorgeous children. Then I remembered, I never did brush Tori's hair that morning.

2011-08-16T19:31:00.000-07:00

Bootsy 2 days before she died.

Tears catch me off guard. They come at most unexpected times. The alarm clock shows 3:35 am. Even the clock is sleepy. I lay awake and remember she is not here. Tears come. I take an extra long shower and let the tears come.

13 years is a long time, but death always comes too soon. We buried a good friend yesterday. I had to think real hard to know what day it was. Somehow, in our sorrow, it feels like forever ago. It was only yesterday. I am trying hard to wrap my mind around it.

Bootsy had a massive seizure. 4 days later, she died in her sleep as the new day was about to be born. During those 4 days, we tried to keep her comfortable as we kept our chins and hopes up. Maya is away in Japan. "Can you hang in there until Maya comes home?" "But if you have to go, we understand". She would sit in front of our house in the shade of poplar trees and watch the world go by. She would wag her tail and try to get up to greet us, but after two days, the light in her eyes gone and she is distant.

Scott woke me up to tell me it's time to say good bye. We held her lifeless body and told her what a good dog she has been. I tell her I am sorry when I was too busy for her or I got annoyed with her. I touch her silky ears and try to remember how they felt in my hands. I bury my nose in her beautiful golden fur and wish the time would stop. I take her paws into mine for one last touch. It's always too soon.

Our other dog Ranger at Bootsy's grave

Scott took her to the top of a rolling hill and put her to rest, right beside our friend Zippy. He came home saturated in tears and sweat. "The only regret I have is I didn't sleep with her that night". During the 4 days, I would often find him sitting beside her gently stroking her and talking to her for a long time. Man's best friend. Silent and Loyal. She was gracious and faithful until the end. The last conscious thing she did was to get up and greet me when I returned home.

Flowers for Bootsy

13 years is a long time, but death always comes too soon. Tonight, we went to visit her grave. A beautiful spot. I can see her running through the tall grass. Poking her head out every now and then to check on me. She can smell the gophers and prairie chickens. She is grinning. tail wagging. Flood of memories. I let the tears come.

"If it hurts so much, why would you get a dog?", I've been asked.

Because you are their whole world.

Rest in Peace, beautiful girl. Thank you for the wonderful 13 years together.

Becoming a Canadian

2011-07-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

I was 14 when I fell in love with this 'strong and free' country. I became a Canadian 14 years after that, in the summer of 2000. When I go to the United States, people often tell me that I 'act and speak like a Canadian'. I take it as a compliment. I love Canada. I am proud to be a Canadian.

Coming from a country with a long history (2,670 years to be exact) and a strong sense of culture and heritage, being a Canadian can give me a sense of identity crisis. Today is Canada Day. We celebrate 144 years of Canada being a self-governed country. I typed in google: Canada's national food. The first hit: Ginger Beef. Second: Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding. I laughed but was not surprised. People say, Canadians are so nice and friendly and that we say "sorry" a lot. I know it is a dangerous task to generalize a whole nation of people--all 33,739,900 of us, but I tend to believe that. A few years ago I was walking through a crowded IKEA store. I kept bumping into people with my cart. It was my fault. But every one of those people I bumped into said, "sorry" to me. I fell in love with Canada all over again--in IKEA.

When I became a Canadian, I had to learn its history, culture, geography and politics. The immigration department sent me a little booklet to study. "You must write and pass the citizenship test in order to become a Canadian citizen", the letter stated. I learned about fur trade, Confederation, John A. McDonald, parliament government system and even memorized the words to O Canada, our national anthem. I nervously walked into a government building to write the test. 5 questions total. Multiple choice. One of the questions stated: What is the emblem on the Canadian flag? Options: 1) Eagle, 2) Maple leaf, 3) Rainbow, 4) Beaver, 5) Queen Elizabeth. I passed the test with flying colors and proceeded into a crowded court room for the official ceremony. I looked around to see people representing many countries all over the world. Young and old. Some seemed emotional. I realized then, that this 'strong and free' country has so much to offer to so many of them in that court room that day. I wondered what story they have to tell. I am sure many of them had lost everything, escaped danger and gave up so much to get where I was. I recently met a woman who has not seen her children in 16 years and and another who lost her family farm in order to pay the bribery--all in order to come to Canada. I know no such hardships. I do not know war or poverty. I was in that court room simply because I married a Canadian. I did not have to give up anything. While witnessing the emotions in the room, I fell in love with Canada all over again. Hope and freedom it gives to so many. Open arms and open doors to those who have lost everything. I love this country. I am proud to be a Canadian.

The ceremony proceeded and the judge spoke about 'Canadian pride'. Cultural Diversity. That's our pride. He read off the countries represented in that court room that day. There were at least 20 countries represented. I saw beautiful women in Saris. Turbans and hanbok. The judge gave us each a paper Canadian flag. He brought an old tape recorder with a sound track for O Canada, which we sang proudly together. After finishing our singing, he flipped the cassette and played the other side which was "O Canada" in French. We all looked stunned and watched in silence as the judge sang alone with the cassette. It was quirky and sweet. Nothing fancy and majestic. We shook hands with people around us and left the court room.

Maya--Japan Bound

2011-07-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

I just booked a plane ticket for Maya to go visit her grandparents in Japan this summer. She is ecstatic. 2 years ago, when this idea came up, and she was absolutely against it. Now, she has a permanent grin on her face and every now and then, she would say, "Thanks for letting me go to Japan, Mom". My heart is excited and terrified all at the same time. She is growing up faster than my heart would allow. I am so proud of her bravery. I am proud of her because I can trust her to take on such a big adventure at such a young age.

To be honest, I have not done a good job of teaching my children about their Japanese heritage. I don't speak Japanese to them. My kids cannot, for the life of them, use chopsticks. They are Canadians, through and through. Since she was very little, Maya has always wanted to go to Japan. The desire is so intense--more than just a little kid wanting to go to an amusement park or an ice cream shop. I could sense that she really wanted to know this part of herself --like a missing piece of the puzzle. I never knew if it was ever going to be possible for our family to go, but always hoped she could go while she is still young.

Although I am absolutely overwhelmed to let my little girl get on a plane all by herself to cross the ocean, I feel in my gut this is the right time and it will be an amazing opportunity.

Someone asked me the other day, when I was in Japan last. I responded, "oh about 10 years ago....in 1993". Wait a minute, that's 18 years ago! Sometimes, I long for the intense heat of the summer. I dream of showing my girls the Japanese countryside I grew up in. Catching cicadas and praying mantas and listening to the crickets at night. Going to get fresh peaches and fish that were just harvested/caught in the morning. The Hustle and bustle of the city centre. Food stands and fireworks.

What will Maya see? Who will she meet? I wonder if she will meet my neighbor who let me borrow the book, "Never Ending Story"? I am sure so much has changed but so much are still the same. As much as I want to be there to take her down my memory lane, I am glad she gets to go on her own. She will go without mom's agenda. She is free to decide what she wants to see and to experience Japan in ways that are meaningful to her.

We will look for books about Japan and make a list of things she wants to see and do. So far, she wants to go to Tokyo Disneyland. :) Maybe I might even give her a crash course on the language and how to use chopsticks.

Summer Activity List

2011-06-22T20:35:00.000-07:00

The Summer Vacation is upon us. In order to keep my children occupied and happy, I thought I'd make a list of activities so we won't be sitting around going...."mom, we are bored!!" Here is my list. I am trying to keep it simple and cheap and yet fun. Living in a small town requires some creativity....and that is okay.

* Make postcards and send them to friends near and far

-this helps us keep connected to our friends. It will make friends happy. Encourages creativity as we will be making them. It will help kids learn how to address letters and learn to write and spell better.

*Make Tinfoil Hats

-just because. It's silly. It's fun. It's cheap.

*Splash Park

-because there is a new one in town and it's free. Also try the one in near by towns

*Library

-because they have air conditioning. My girls love reading.

*Take care of our flower & vegetable gardens
-Share the loot with neighbors and friends
*Sprinkler under the trampoline
-So so fun!
*Sleep on the trampoline
-I might regret saying this.....
*Cook with each of the kids
-So they can make a meal from start to finish.

*Giant Bubble Experiment
-found here
*Set up Maya's loom
-seriously, in 2 years, she made 2 projects because I'm too lazy to set it up for her.
*Study Constellation
-maybe we can do this while we are driving down to the States.
*Use our fire pit often
-gives us time for slow down visiting time

*Rag Curls...
-because they are girls and school nights don't allow this often.
*Go to the OCEAN
-Oregon coast....we are coming!
*Learn to play Yatzee
-I bought it a year ago and we still haven't opened it.
*Homemade ice cream
-dust off the old ice cream maker
*Family Movie Night
-my goal is to actually stay awake for the whole movie....

*Teach girls sewing
-I have my heart set on making these hats for my girls in the next week to welcome them to summer vacation.
*Lemonade Stand
-It's the symbol of childhood summer memory
*Go to the river
-because it is the closest thing to the ocean here and we love it there.
*Make friendship bracelets
-You just have to when you got girls.

*Looking forward to the lazy summer days.....Come by and join us in our adventure*

Almost 4.

2011-06-16T22:52:00.001-07:00

4 seems so much bigger than 3. As she masters more skills and takes pride in her independence, there is a feeling of relief and panic mixed in one. Relief that she doesn't need me to do everything for her, but panic because like water, the childhood is running through my fingers.
I always wanted 3 kids. And there she was. She is nothing like her older sisters. She is spirited. She is unpredictable. To be honest, she has been the one that has most frequently challenged my patience and made me question my ability as a mother.
But perhaps because of her, I will be more patient. I will be more accepting of the unexpected. She will make me a better mother.

Ironic.

Mismatched socks. Fairy wings. A pair of silver mary janes. She takes me by the hand to shows me the world through so much innocence and excitement.

"Look mommy, Robins!"

"I love these flowers, mommy!"

"Worms!!!"
The world is a beautiful place through the eyes of a toddler.
This past year, two of our good friends became very ill. Tori was the one to pray for them. Everyday. Every chance she's got. She said some profound things in her prayers. We saw miracles and they are now healed and well.
It is a beautiful thing to watch your childen make this world a better place by just being who they are. I hope my eyes are open to see it, instead of focusing on the troubles and inconveniences.

I think tomorrow, we will walk to the park and I will push her on a swing high up in the air to hear her belly giggles.

Spring--Here to Stay!?

2011-06-01T09:08:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I finally went outside with my camera in search of spring. It's been a very long winter. The last few months, I have been in survival mode. Not the best place to be. I am glad spring is here. Mosquitos are terrible, but I hope to get outside as much as I can. Renewed desire to live with a heart full of joy and excitement for life. Life is beautiful. I am glad that being a mother forces me to slow down, helping me appreciate beauty of life which goes so often unnoticed.

Dogs

2011-04-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

My friends' dog is dying. This particular dog has been a part of our family for several years now. 'Zippy' would come stay with us when his owners were away. I personally had never had a close encounter with border collies until I met Zippy. I always found his neuroticism rather entertaining. Zippy is such a 'homebody' he hated being away from his home and owners. He pouted and went on hunger strikes when he came to my house. Once I found him sitting up on Maya's bed with his snout pressed into the corner of the wall.....pouting. He has this uncontrollable urge to howl at the train. He loved chasing bubbles. Eventually, he accepted us. We loved having him around. When we got the word that he has aggressive cancer, we went over to say 'good-bye' to him as a family. Today, he will go to doggie heaven. I asked my friend, "is it weird to choose when he will go?"--playing 'god'.....strange.

When I was a child, the only thing I ever wanted was a dog. We finally got our first dog when I turned 15--a female Golden Retriever. She died when she was 2 years old. Poisoned from eating the grass saturated in pesticides. There were several dogs in the neighborhood that died from the same thing that year. The city neglected to inform the residents when they sprayed the weeds around town. I went to see my friends while my parents went to retrieve her lifeless body from the vet....to avoid it altogether. I was a teenager who did not know how to express my feelings. By the time I returned home, she had been cremated and gone. I never got the chance to say good-bye. My mom told me how she cut all the flowers from her garden to put around her in the box she was laying in. The regret I felt that day has been with me for a long time. Watching Zippy struggle to his feet to greet me brought it all back.

Silent and loyal. You are their whole world. Dogs spend most of their life waiting for us to come home. They shower us with unconditional love and teach us what it means to be alive.

I woke up with a knot in my stomach. Today is the day. I know he wasn't our dog, but he was a big part of our lives. We will miss him. My girls cried when I told them about the cancer. I cried as I listened to my friend talk about how he plans to say good bye. I am glad Zippy will not be in pain anymore. Please do not argue with me whether dogs go to heaven or not right now. I know heaven is a beautiful place, but why is it so difficult and painful? I try to imagine Zippy running towards the sunset through heaven's meadow filled with flowers. It's beautiful. Rest in Peace, Zippy. It's been a wonderful adventure. I'm glad we became friends.

Lately

2011-04-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

During the month of March into April, I have been consumed with "Guys and Dolls". I have *reluctantly* jumped into the world of community theatre. 3 months ago, when the director asked me if I would consider taking a part in this production, my reaction was "theatre isn't my thing, I have never acted before". Now I love it. I have a small role as one of the hotbox dancers. It's a fun role. We get to act all giddy and sassy. We get to sing and dance. I don't have any speaking part, so it's a good way to get introduced to the world of community theatre. I have been getting to know some great people which has been fun as well.

We have just finished one week of performances which have been well received and fun to perform. At the same time though, sacrifices had to be made by my family. I am forever thankful for the understanding and the patience Scott and girls shower me with daily. I do not think I have heard one word of complaint from them. Instead, they are excited for me and they are my biggest fans. It's like this. Scott comes home and we may have 5 minutes of exchanging few words and I head out, I come home after 11:00pm and by then everyone is in bed. Scott is off to work early so I usually don't get to see him in the morning. In times like this, I am reminded of what an amazing man he is and how strong our marriage has become over the years. Last week, he called me before coming home to ask me just this, "what can I do when I get home?" On this particular day, he had been working since 5:00am. He never makes me feel bad about coming home late or being away all the time, which puts my heart at ease and I am able to enjoy what I do. I hope I can be like that also. To encourage and to be supportive of all that Scott does. I was thrilled to be able to send Scott on a little trip today. Some good friends were going away to the nearby city to check out a motorcycle swap. So, I talked the guys into inviting Scott to come along. He was thrilled.

I love it when Scott and I are willing to sacrifice our needs for the sake of the other. We are willing to cover for each other instead of pointing fingers at each other. No blame shifting game. I thought we were best friends when we married, but after almost 15 years, it just keeps getting better. How can that be? I am grateful. I never thought it possible to love someone as much as I love my man friend.

Beautiful People

2011-03-20T21:57:00.001-07:00

I have not looked at these photos in a very long time. These pictures are almost 20 years old. I have not told the story of how it all began -- how I fell in love with these beautiful people.

My mother's younger sister, my aunt Yoshiko has developmental disabilities. I do not know all the details of what her disability is or how she became disabled. Growing up, we used to go visit my grandma twice a year. I did not know how to interact with my aunt. Fear of unknown, perhaps. Different. Was I scared? No, I don't think so. My aunt is the most gentle person. But I remember this awkwardness. I knew I was to be kind to her, but didn't know how. My aunt does not speak. She makes these grunting noises. As far as I know, she never went to school. I have never seen her leave the house. She wore diapers.
When I was in college, I decided to spend two summers working at Upward Bound Camp in Oregon State. It is a camp for persons with special needs. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I knew I was supposed to be there. Knowing that I was supposed to be there did not make it any easier for me. Many times, I wanted to quit. But this is where I fell in love with these beautiful people. People who live with developmental and physical disabilities. The work was hard. Majorities of our tasks were looking after the campers' daily physical needs, such as hygiene, medication and assisting them with their meals. It was while changing soiled diapers of a grown woman and holding a drool covered hand of a man, I saw my pride. Filthy pride....but they showed me what love was. They did not judge me. We became friends and made wonderful memories together. We went fishing and hiking together. We skipped rocks in the river.

"Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action."
-Mother Teresa-

Here I am almost 20 years later, I am beginning to understand the meaning of the mother Teresa quote. I work with individuals with developmental disabilities in my community now. "Making Room"....this is what I am hired to do. Community inclusion. Giving them the best possible quality of life. Helping them find their gifts and abilities. Helping them fulfill their dreams.

I know it wasn't my aunt's fault that she never went out. There was no room in the community. The society doesn't want to acknowledge their existence. The society doesn't know what to do with them. In many countries, these people are sent away to orphanages and institutions to die.

What if my aunt had the chance to go to school and learn to read and to write? What if she had the chance to go fishing and go camping? What if someone had taken the time to find out what her dreams were and helped her fulfill them? I know my grandma loved her. I know my mother loved her. But what if.....

Things are so much better now here in Canada. There are programs, supports, organizations available to help individuals with disabilities have the quality of life they deserve. But I want to ask each of us to look into our hearts. Be honest. When we see a person with disabilities, what is in your heart? Do we pity them? Ignore them? Judge them? Avoid them? Are we uncomfortable? Programs alone aren't going to give them the best life possible. They need a community around them. People who will support them and help them achieve their dreams. They need friends just as we need friends. Will you be that person to someone with disability?

Today is World Down Syndrome Day. This is a day set aside to promote awareness and understanding towards people with Down Syndrome. I am asking myself, "what tangible things can I do to seek a better quality of life for individuals with Down Syndrome (or any other disabilities) in my life?" --Even if I was not hired to do so. And what motivates me to do this? I do not want to be motivated by pride or pity. I do not do this because it makes me feel better about myself. If that's what motivates me, I might as well just go home and forget about it. It isn't something 'special' we are doing. We do this because we are all humans.

A small gesture. Kind words. Making room in your life. It means the world to them when your actions are motivated by love. And I promise you, you will be blessed and changed forever.

Please take a moment to read this post by my friend Krista. As a part of World Down Syndrome Day, she is asking us to give towards adoption grant (through Reese's Rainbow) for a little boy named Bennett. Reese's Rainbow is an organization which promotes and provides support for international adoption of children with Down Syndrome. I have decided to support Krista's effort by giving away some of my handmade bags as incentives for you to give. PLEASE check it out and consider giving.

Learning

2011-02-26T21:00:00.000-08:00

You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives.

~Clay P. Bedford

Sometimes, we must tell ourselves to slow down and look around. Listen to each other and talk. We are in such a hurry all the time.

During the month of February, our little town has been the sanctuary for Bohemian Waxwings. They are beautiful creatures. We have a bit of obsession about birds. If you didn't know, you may have just dismissed them or not even notice these beautiful birds. My girls and I took some time chasing them around town. One day, these birds decided to have a party in my front yard. They were there all day and we were able to get some photos and we took a look at them in the bird book. Maya is hoping to draw a picture of them. Now we know there are three different kinds of Waxwings. We have seen two of them. The last one being Japanese Waxwings, which we are quite certain, are the coolest of them all. ;)

Mona asked me one day, "Mom, where does the sidewalk end?" I didn't really know what she meant. I asked her to explain. She went into this elaborate story about what may be at the end of sidewalk. She thought perhaps it may end in Africa. I love her curiosity and imagination. So, I shared with her the poem "Where the Sidewalk Ends" by Shel Silverstein. According to the poem, we can find "the moon-bird rests from his flight to cool in the peppermint wind" at the end of sidewalk. Mona was beaming as she heard this. "What is a moon-bird?" "What does peppermint wind feel like?" Another opportunity for some learning and to stretch our imagination.

I believe that the learning becomes fun and meaningful when the information is absorbed within the context of real life. Some of my favorite moments with my girls have been like that. We may be cooking dinner together, weeding and watering the garden, or sitting on the hood of the car looking at the constellation. It doesn't have to be complicated. If we take the time to look around, we would find that the opportunities are plentiful.

The Last Few Days

2011-02-26T14:05:00.001-08:00

We had the Scrabble tiles out the other day and my older girls were just spelling some words. Tori got in there and started lining up letters too. She'd try to name letters which of course, were all wrong. Then I thought, "I wonder if she can recognize letters for real?" So, I got a piece of paper and spelled her name out for her: "T-O-R-I". I asked her if she could pick out these letters out of Scrabble tiles. She did it at the first try. WOW. She then proceeded to write her name down. "R" was a bit tricky, but she did it. It became a game and she did this over and over for 2 days. Delighted. Then she wanted to know how to spell other names. Her sisters, parents and friends.

What I loved about that particular moment was that learning happened by Tori guiding herself. I didn't sit her down to teach her. Tori was in charge. She wanted to learn and she was ready and I was able to catch her in that moment when her curiosity met the learning opportunity. It was so natural and delightful.

These moments are like fuel. They encourage me and affirm me in my abilities as a mother and give me that little push to keep on parenting these sweet little people in my life. Parenting is delightful, but it can be rather mundane and exhausting....both mentally and physically.
My girls had 4 days off from school this week. I asked them to make a list of things they wanted to do during that time. We tried our best to get lots of things from the list accomplished. As parents, we dictate so much of their little life. They have so little say in what they may want to do. I am learning that in a safe environment of our home, we can slowly give them the opportunity to be in charge.

Mona wanted to cook dinner. She chose to make soup and biscuits. She cut the biscuits out with a heart-shaped cutter. Maya found a recipe for a cheese cake in one of her novels. She copied the recipe, got all the ingredients from the store and pretty much made the cake from start to finish all by herself. She surprised her dad with the cake because his birthday is coming up in a week. The cake was delicious!! She wanted to invite a friend over for a sleepover. They all wanted to spend their money at the book store, so we ventured out in the cold and we were glad we got out of the house. They all wanted "rag-curls".

When given the opportunity to choose and to be in charge, I saw my girls come alive. They got along better with each other and we all had lots of fun. They were so pleased and proud of what they had accomplished. A few things didn't get done, but perhaps, we will put that on the list for the next weekend.

Going Fancy

2011-02-23T11:06:00.000-08:00

I don't get out much. I don't say this grudgingly. It's just a fact. Circumstances don't allow it and for the most part, I am okay with that. It's the circumstances brought on by the choices we made....like living in a small town, having kids and all that. So when I get to go out, it's very special and very memorable. The last Saturday was one of those. Very Special.

We celebrated two of our good friends' birthdays in Calgary at River Cafe. If you are familiar with Calgary, it is located in the Prince's Island Park. I've walked by there several times checking out the menu outside, but have never actually been there. It's pretty fancy and expensive. We left the children behind in care of some loving friends, put on some 'fancy' clothes to meet our friends. For me, sharing good food with people who know and appreciate it is one of the most satisfying experiences.

When I go to fancy places, I am reminded how un-fancy I am. I try to put on my best behavior but something always goes wrong to reveal my true color. I mean I was raised well, I think. When I meet my parents' friends and colleagues, I sometimes have to put on my fancy self. But maybe just maybe, it's okay to be who I really am. Actually, I am okay with my non-fancy self. It's real and it's way more fun to be real. No pretense. But it's funny how 'fancy occasions' make us think we should act differently. It's a trap I don't want to get caught in.

Once, some friends treated us to a night in a hotel. I don't own suitcases. I have some good travel bags, but honestly, since I don't travel on airplanes much, I prefer to travel with laundry baskets. When we got to the hotel, it was definitely fancier than I thought. Men in smart uniforms came to assist us to our room. "um...no thanks. I can manage".

So, back at the River Cafe. We were greeted by a gal taking our coats and other courteous staff. Our friends are by the rustic fire place starting the evening with a glass of viognier. It went down nicely as our anticipation of the wonderful evening unfolded. We were there to catch their early bird special. Our appetizer was Red Lentil Hummus served with warm flat bread, preserved tomatoes and roasted garlic. I liked it almost better than the traditional hummus made with chickpeas. For our entree, we had the choice of Steelhead Trout with Roasted Heirloom carrots, purple potato Creme Fraiche Croquette, cider cured Salmon Caviar or Hanger Steak served with Walnut Spaetzle and parsnip Puree. I chose the trout, and the steak for Scott, so we can share. Our pleasant waiter, always serving the ladies first, of course, said to me, "ma'am, would you like still water or sparkling water this evening?" "ummm.....can I just have some plain water?" "Sure, ma'am. how about some still water then". After I exhaled the sigh of relief that I was able to order water, my friends nonchalantly told the waiter, "I will have still water please".....AS IF they have always called it "still water". ALL OF THEM! We laughed so hard about that.

The dinner was simply amazing. Great company. Good wine. Two and half hours of pure joy. Every bite was savored. I love eating with my 'foodie friends', because we eat good food and we talk about some other good food at the same time. I dream of traveling. Traveling just to discover good food all over the world. There is so much I have not seen or tasted. This evening gave me a little glimpse of what that might be like. Traveling with like-minded friends, savoring every bite, every moment, the conversation and the friendship. Sounds like it would make a good book, even a movie. We decided to call it, "Eat, Eat, Eat", instead of "Eat, Pray, Love".

Of course, I would like to insert a giant disclaimer here by saying good food does not have to be fancy. In fact, so much of the good food I have experienced thus far have been very simple. It was prepared with much thought and care, with fresh, good ingredients. Not complicated at all. Most importantly, good food must be enjoyed with good company. That is a must. Eating alone is almost never fun....for me, at least. I would rather share a glass of cheap wine with a good friend than eating a five-course gourmet meal alone. I have had some amazing food from humble food stands on street corners or on a patio at friends' backyard on a lazy summer evening.

As the evening went on, we saw more people filling the restaurant. Lots of fur coats and kisses on the cheeks to greet each other. Real fancy people. I wondered if they came here often. Probably so. I was happy and content. Not envious. I love my simple and not-so-fancy life. I don't want a fur coat. I have been in situations where I had to kiss people on cheeks to greet them. I was very awkward. I am okay with not knowing what "still water" is. The evening was epic, and I'd love to eat there again one day.....but I want to wait long enough so that every moment of the evening become memorable just like it was last Saturday.

If you are interested in seeing some photos and a different perspective of the evening, check out this post by my friend, Krista.

Children and Food

2011-01-26T20:33:00.000-08:00

I have three remarkably good eaters. They love all sorts of food. I am very proud of them and it is fun to take them out or to cook with them. However this did not come so easily. I am always disgusted when I go to restaurants and children's menus consist of chicken fingers and fries, cheese pizzas and ice cream. Where is the green stuff, I ask. Children do not like green stuff. Well, that is not true. My girls love the green stuff. My girls love olives and broccoli. My girls know what lentils are. Sushi, salmon, scallops, curry and spanakopita!! Quinoa burgers, lox on bagels and Calamari! Adults assume that children only eat chicken fingers. ugh.

Many years ago, I worked at a coffee shop. I remember this one customer. A grandmother taking her 5-yr-old grand daughter out for ice cream. The grandma said "which kind would you like?" The little girl hesitated. So many kinds to choose from! They asked me what was good. I told them if you like something fruity, try the raspberry sorbet. It's so good. I offered a sample. The little girl seemed interested. The grandmother turned up her nose and said "you wouldn't like it, dear. It isn't ice cream". and went on to order black cherry ice cream. The little girl didn't even get to choose!!

I realized it's so easy to do that though. Not just about the food, but all aspects of my interaction with my children. I must be careful to let them feel the freedom to choose, not making them feel like they need my approval.

Here are a couple of things I have enforced regarding food and my children. First, they are not allowed to say 'yuck'. They may tell me they didn't like something, but never 'yuck'. I find that to be very disrespectful to the person who cooked the food. They must try everything that have been offered. I encourage them not to write off any food they didn't like. I keep offering it to them and my kids have grown to love some food they didn't like when they were smaller. For example, Maya did not like avocados as a baby. Now she can't get enough. She has also recently learn to love hummus, but she is still working on rice crackers. She would say once in a while that she would like to try a little to see if her taste has changed. Bless her heart. I do not cater to them when I cook. What they see is what's for dinner. Also, I am always looking for ways to make our meals healthier and more economical. For instance, we stopped putting meat on our homemade pizzas. I made them vegetarian one day and asked them if they had missed the meat. Unanimous "No". Now, we only make vegetarian pizzas, and do you know what we put on our pizzas? Roasted garlic, spinach, red peppers, greek olives, mushrooms, onions, sun-dried tomatoes, fresh tomatoes and basil (In summer) and mozzarella cheese on homemade whole wheat crust. Go figure.

It's fun to share different food experiences with my children. We especially enjoy Ethnic food. We also have many dear friends who are vegetarians or have some dietary restrictions. We love sharing food with our friends. I am glad to say I don't have to wonder if there is going to be anything my kids can eat when we go out somewhere.

We all have different priorities and parenting styles. I am aware that this is not a huge priority in many families. It is something I felt was important for my family and chose to 'pick this battle'. For me it has been well worth it.

Felting

2011-01-26T20:19:00.000-08:00

Right now, the biggest rage amongst young mothers in a small prairie town is felting. I started felting a few years back (just to be clear and to brag) but have only made a few little things thus far. These ladies are on fire. Holy Toledo!! There are field trips, morning coffee while felting and evening felting parties. So, frantically, I made this little thing. I must say, it looks pretty darn good.

Comfort Food

2011-01-26T19:16:00.001-08:00

Mona has been sick this week. She slept for two days with a trip to the emergency room for X-Ray and a prescription for antibiotics and an inhaler. A touch of Pneumonia. She hardly ate any food. It was hard to get her to even drink water. On the third day, she perked up a little. She said, "Mommy, can you make me some rice balls and miso soup?" Yes. Yes, I will. She gobbled up 3 rice balls and a bowl of miso soup.

Rice Balls (Onigiri) and miso soup are the ultimate comfort food for us Japanese folks. I don't know why they are so good though. I mean, they are just balls of rice that are salted a little and wrapped in a sheet of seaweed. That is it. It makes me smile that my girls ask for them when they are unwell or had been away from home for a while. Scott and I used to have our "East Meets West" meals every now and then when we craved our comfort foods. Mostly grilled cheese for Scott and rice balls for me. It looks like I won all my girls over in Comfort Food Department. ;)

I had conversations with friends about comfort food. I think it's safe to say comfort food is often something we had as a child, the symbols of our childhood. Something warm and usually starchy and not too healthy ;) but oh so good.

So, about these Onigiri's, the elite Onigiri's are triangle shaped. I don't know why or who decided that, but it just is. My mom always made round ones though, so I grew up with Onigiri envy....until my dear grandma taught me how to make triangle ones. We made them together to bring along on our hike. Even now, when my girls ask for Onigiri's, I make them into triangles. It's funny how such a small event so long ago still stays with me.

What's your comfort food?

The Weekend

2011-01-24T08:01:00.000-08:00

When I was 18 years old, a good friend gave me a cassette. It was titled "Dream" by Tuck & Patti. I had never heard of them, but quickly fell in love with Patti's soulful and warm voice and Tuck's amazing world class jazz guitar. I still have that cassette, occasionally playing it thinking about my friend. I don't know where she is now. Over the years, I have acquired two of their CD's. Their music became 'home', something I can always come back to, something solid and comforting.

I like live music. Music has been a huge part of my life, however, I don't like huge stadium concerts with screaming fans. I like more intimate settings like Jazz clubs and live music in coffee shops, so I don't make it a habit to go see concerts much. Long story short, I had the opportunity to go to Tuck & Patti concert this weekend, 20 years after my friend gave me the cassette. It was a 'date' with my good friend Jodi, whom I had not seen in over a year.

As soon as we arrived at Festival Place in Sherwood Park, AB., we noticed we were probably the youngest people there. Made us giggle a little. :) Lots of 'older' men in black turtle necks and ladies in flow-y dresses. The hall was small and intimate. We liked it right away. As we fumbled through the dimly lit hall to find out seats, we spotted an old Hammond Organ with a Leslie Amplifier and speaker, a nice set up for the opening band, Dave Babcock trio from Edmonton. The evening's MC was Lark Clark from CKUA radio (which happens to be my favorite radio station)-- a community supported radio here in Alberta. It was a perfect setup. The two and half hour went by quickly. It was delightful and surreal. After waiting for 20 years to hear them live, it felt so 'normal' to be there, and yet so exciting. I held my breath as I sat on the edge of my seat as Tuck played "Europa", (take a look at the video above). It made me smile when Patti took off her uncomfortable high heels on stage and sang "High Heel Blues" and showed off her scat singing.

It boggles my mind that so few people know about them. They are considered one of the world's best jazz duo. But I like it that they are so understated and they don't seem to care about fame. Their setup was so simple. A small table with water bottles and towels. There was no CD's for sale. Their tour schedule take them all over the world. Japan, Italy, USA, mostly in small venues. I realized people who come to hear Tuck & Patti truly appreciate their talent. They don't need all the flashing lights and screaming fans to know they are good. They don't need loud speakers, because people come to listen. To really listen, because they are really that good. I like that. Unpretentious and real. Instead of spending their energy of becoming 'famous', they focus on improving their skills. A hidden treasure. It's like one of those amazing little out-of-the-way restaurant only locals know about. When Tuck finished the song "Europa", the audience sat quietly for about 3 seconds before we started clapping because we were so taken by his magic, the way he made his guitar sing by letting his ten fingers gracefully dance on it. No effects, no flashing lights. I think there is definitely something to learn from that, even for me. To put our whole heart into doing what we love, not caring so much about what others think, pursuing excellence quietly-- believing in what we do.

Putting it Away

2011-01-11T13:46:00.001-08:00

Christmas has been officially put away for another year. I love my vintage glass ornaments all piled up in a box. This year, I am please to report that we did not break a single ornament. That is a record on its own. With two dog tails and six curious hands, we usually break at least 5 ornaments every year. Another sign that my girls are growing up. After making doubly and triply sure that there was no ornament left on the tree, I chucked my tree out the front door with glee. I may have even giggled a little. Scott saw the tree laying on our front lawn and walked in the house laughing, wishing that he could see me throwing it. I usually let Scott do the honor, but I figured after taking nearly 5 hours to put away Christmas, I cannot possibly let him do the most fun part. :) I do not want you to worry though. I am not turning into some trashy garbage in the front lawn kind of a lady. There is a Christmas tree pick-up service the town provides and they are going to burn them at the camp ground along with some fireworks and hay ride as a winter entertainment this weekend.

Several years ago, I started writing our Christmas memories on a spare Christmas card from that year to save them. I added girls' letters to santa and 'his' reply. Now, I have a nice collection of sweet cards and memories. So, I took a moment to do that again this year. It's my way of counting the blessings. I had printed my girls' art work to make them into cards along with some photos. I wrote down meals we shared with some dear friends, old and new. We had a delightful time celebrating Christmas. Opening presents and lighting Advent candles. Caroling in the hospital, skating and sledding. Hay ride and phone calls from loved ones.

We shared a lovely evening celebrating Epiphany (three kings day) with one of our lovely new friends. Our girls dressed up like the three kings and we made up 3 small packages to bring. Our friends and their darling girls prepared a feast and helped us learn about The Epiphany, singing and a game to find the missing wisemen, which we all enjoyed. I cherish those simple little moments where I feel connected with my girls, sharing in the joy of acquiring knowledge and trying something new.

Looking back at this year, we are reminded over and over that friends and family are the blessings of this finite life. Sometimes, not having family close by can get lonely especially around holidays. I have mentioned in my blog before how I used to have temper tantrums around Christmas.

Well, I am happy to tell you those days are over now.

A New Chapter

2011-01-11T13:01:00.000-08:00

Tori started Preschool last week. She is so excited. I too am very excited. The first day I dropped her off, I came home and sat in the car for a few minutes. I exhaled deeply and dialed Scott's cell phone number, "Hey, do you wanna go for breakfast?" I knew he couldn't. I wasn't disappointed. He laughed. I knew that he knew why I called. We laughed together. For the first time in nearly 10 years, I will have a moment to myself. Guilt free.

On one hand, I grieve the fact my kids are growing up, but on the other hand, I rejoice the fact they are growing up. I loved those early years of finger painting and mashed carrots. I loved my girls as newborns. I cried when my oldest started kindergarten. I loved those magical years of innocent wonder. I am not quite done with those years yet, but I can see that it is soon going to end. I can see that those sleepless nights are over. No more diapers.

I will still kiss my girls better and will still cuddle with them to read together, but it feels like we are entering a new phase. A new chapter. I have joined a choir and will be participating in a play (a small role in Guys and Dolls). I have been able to sew more. My girls will need me in very different ways now. We talk about friendships, faith, and choices they make. Our discussions are about more complex things. I enjoy seeing different strength develop in each one and to encourage in the things they are good at. I am amazed and proud when I see my girls making good choices. So proud and yet humbled. They are growing up with amazing characters in spite of me and my mistakes.

There are many things I want to do with those precious two and a half hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I would like to read more, sew more, paint more, write more.....but I know I probably shouldn't be too ambitious. I will probably vacuum the house and do the dishes. And that is okay. I will do that gladly. Right now, even to be able to vacuum alone is a treat. It's the quietness of the heart that I appreciate. It doesn't matter what I am doing. I hope that this will enable me to be a better mother also.

Me and Myself and I

2011-01-08T21:39:00.000-08:00

*The Picture is of my friend Paula and I on my birthday this year. I requested a "Tacky Tourist Hike" with some of my girlfriends, and we were very successful at it. :)

I was rather awkward and shy in my early twenties. I don't think I knew who I really was, and cared too much about what others thought. Wasn't very good at small talks, but had the superpower of being invisible at social gatherings. A few years later, under a different circumstance, I had the chance to hang out with a friend I went to college with but never had the chance to get to know back in college. One evening, we were taking a drive out to watch a play together, he said to me, "If I had known that you were so much fun back in college, I am sure we would have hung out so much more back then". That really was a turning point in my life. I was so insecure back then, but what he said to me helped me realize that I have lots to offer. That was almost 15 years ago. Now, in my late 30's, I can honestly say I am at peace with who I am. I am completely a different person than I was then and yet so much the same. I tell my friends now that if they had met me 15 years ago, they probably wouldn't have liked me. :) I am growing and learning so much about myself and how I fit into my little corner of the world. This makes me very optimistic about the years ahead. I look forward to growing and changing. I look forward to meeting more people and deepening the friendships I treasure now. Life is so great, I remember thinking, that I got it all figured out, but my goodness, how wrong I was! When I am old, I still want to try something new, try new food, and skip rocks in the river, I want to get to know young people, I want to take ballroom dance lessons in my 60's or even 70's! Life is sweet, and I don't want to miss a thing.

Thinking Out Loud

2011-01-05T07:52:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to write something on here for months. In fact, I have about 5 posts deleted half way and 3 that are saved and not published. I feel scattered and not with it. It's like running a marathon without training for it. Life has been like that lately. Even though we try our best to not get too busy, there always seems to be something. I guess I can count them as blessings. We have friends, a community where I feel very much a part of and an active family. But sometimes it's nice to be able to hear myself think, instead of hearing impatience in my voice as I hustle my kids from one place to another.

Initially, this blog was started after much encouragement from a small number of friends who have read my writing. Most of my earlier writings were based on my memory of special events or my 'deep thoughts'. Later, I started adding some updates on my creative stuff and nice photos I took. I never wanted to bore anyone with my day to day mundaneness. With the presence of online social networking available to us, our lives are rather exposed. I can find out what most of my friends had for breakfast by a click of a mouse or satisfy myself with the delusion that I have 'socialized' without leaving the house or seeing anyone. It's fun and yet intrusive. It's perfect though, right? (*insert sarcasm here*) We are all so busy with our activities and families. We have no time for each other.......This goes against everything I believe! I have always never wanted to be 'too busy' to share a cup of tea with a friend, or 'too busy' to help a person in need. I wanted myself and my home to be available and open to anyone that may pass through. Old friends, new friends and strangers. I want to be able to say "hi, how are you?" and actually take time to listen to the answer.

I have also been thinking lately a lot about the 'online image'. I read many blogs, mostly of artsy people that I don't know. Their work and lives inspire me in my artsy stuff. Most of these blogs have beautiful photographs and inspiring writings. Children running through a forest with the most gorgeous handmade dresses and playing with beautiful wooden toys. I am drawn to a life like that. I can't help though, wondering if their lives are really like that. I mean it really is easy to create an image of myself on here as I want to. I can take photos of my children when I am doing some inspiring activities with them and a little help from the photoshop. It's easy for me to mislead you to think that I am this super mom that does all these creative things with them. It's an easy trap for any of us. But I desire to be real. I desire to be "what you see is what you get". Nothing more, nothing less. I am a woman who struggle in my day to day stuff. I get impatient with my kids. Somedays, I wake up thinking where along the way have I lost myself? I look in the mirror and see an empty shell not recognizing what I see.

I am trying to recognize that weaknesses and mistakes are okay. I need to make that into something tangible so I can use them as fuel or even the inspiration to reach something greater and wonderful. When I regret what I said to my kids or how I treated them, I must acknowledge that to move forward.

I am writing all of this to say I am going to write more often of boring stuff on here. It's going to be more like a journal. I may even pretend that I don't have an audience. There, that was long and well, ....boring.

For Scott

2010-12-13T08:31:00.000-08:00

Your hand.

The familiar grasp. Comforting.

Yet, my heart still skips a beat like a new found love.

I like hearing your laughter in the crowd.

I like seeing your eyes twinkle when you spot me in a crowded city park.

Sometimes, the hardest thing in the world is letting you love me.

I see my stains and imperfections.

I let them get in the way of your simple honest love.

I want to see me the way you see me.

Lines on your face.

I pray there will be more.

A sure sign of a life filled with joy and laughter.

As we create our history together, I hope I can give you a small glimpse of what is to come.

By giving you the 'heaven on earth'

Take my hand.

Take me to the stars

Take me to the depth of the sea.

I want to know how the warm sand and salty water felt between your toes.

I want to know the joy that filled your heart when you held your infant daughters.

I want to know the depth of your sorrow when you were misunderstood.

I want to know the pain I caused you by my selfishness

I want to know how the first warm spring breeze felt on your face after a long winter.

Our life. Small and insignificant.

Like a single star in the whole galaxy.

But for me.

You are my whole galaxy.

You fill it with countless stars.

Time will slow down.

I pray.

I want to stay here.

A long while still.

With you.

Reese's Rainbow

2010-12-03T16:29:00.000-08:00

This is the time of year when we ask; how can we give abundantly?
I believe one way is by joining with family, friends and strangers that have the information to move forward, and give gifts that will make a world of difference in so many lives.
My friend Krista has signed up to be a Reese's Rainbow Christmas Warrior. Reese's Rainbow promotes the international adoption of children with Down syndrome. Krista has a precious little daughter with down syndrome, Ella. Please take the time to read the beautiful story of Ella, on her blog, One Beautiful Life.
Krista is an amazing advocate for these precious children. I would love to support Krista in her effort to raise some funds for Bennett. By raising money to offer adoption grants on waiting children, Reese's Rainbow is able to give adoptive families the extra financial help they need to bring a child with Down syndrome home from a miserable existence in overseas orphanages and institutions. Having worked with People with disabilities for most of my adult life, this is a cause that is close to my heart as well.
Click on the link below to read about this precious Bennett. You will read about what life is like for him as an orphan, who lives with down syndrome in Ukraine, and where he is headed. While you are visiting her blog, please notice big buttons on the right side, that will also provide you with a lot more information.
Giving abundantly even when we have only little. Though we have hope, when others do not. Small donations all add up tremendously. Krista has committed to raise $1000 before Christmas, but together, we can raise even more than $1000 and unite Bennett with his forever family soon. Thank you for reading and considering this. Wishing you all a festive season of Hope!

Bennett's Profile on Reeses's Rainbow

I've Been Busy

2010-11-24T12:24:00.001-08:00

The Christmas Market is this Saturday. I am also singing in the community Christmas Concert with a choir. Busy week, but it's great. I love having music and art in my life. It energizes me. Right now, where we live is one of the coldest places in the whole entire world (next to Antarctica!), it's a good idea to stay inside and plug away at this, although it makes me think of doing crazy things like driving in a convertible with the top down, or sitting in the snow with a glass of Sangria.....just so I can cross it off my 'Bucket List'. :) My children have been angels, supporting me in my artistic endeavor, cheering me on and looking forward to bringing their pocket change to the market. They might even sit with me at the booth. Scott has been wonderful pitching in where he can as usual. Ever so thankful for the Quinoa Burgers I made in the summer and put them in the freezer for quick meals! I have a bunch more stuff....but here are my favorites. Hope you come and say hi at the Market.

Homemade Costumes

2010-10-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

This year, I am happy to report I dressed all five of us. In the past, I had enough time to dress only some of the family members in homemade costumes. I am happy that my husband is such a good sport, willingly walking around town with a cardboard tube on his head. We had a fantastic day. Girls were real pleased with their costumes. We made lots of people laugh.

I love the rubber gloves on her feet. This was the first year Tori figured out she gets candies for going to people's door! Once she figured out, she pushed the other kids out of the way to run to the door yelling "Twick or Tweet!".

Some familiar photos of homemade costumes from our Halloween past.

Maya

2010-10-04T18:29:00.001-07:00

9 years ago, my life changed forever. Today, we celebrate her. 9 years old. Where did the time go? What can I say, in this small space, of all the wonder, all the amazing things about this little lady? I love her ability to look beyond herself, her sense of justice, her compassion, her ability to relate to people of all ages. She is a bright light to many who meet her.

I knew the moment I held her in my arms, she was someone very special. She is strong. She is loving. She is caring. I love her belly laugh. She laughed like that when she was a wee little baby. She still laughs the same. I am thankful for this treasure. My acorn. A small seed with great potential. A mighty oak she will be one day...giving shade for many who will sit under it.

I am excited for the days ahead to watch her grow, but a little sad to see her grow so fast. In 9 more years, she will be gone from my nest, although never too far from my heart. I love my life with my little girls.
Happy Happy 9th Birthday my little acorn. You are one of the most amazing human beings I have ever met. How blessed I am that you call me "Mommy".

We Call Her 'Goldilocks'

2010-09-24T09:09:00.001-07:00

For 12 years, this is what she has done while we are out......

About Ice Cream Cones and Skipping

2010-09-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

Ice cream is a happy food. It's hard to be grumpy when you are eating ice cream. I also think it's best when you can have it in a sugar cone and walk around outside.

Skipping is also in the same category as ice cream. People don't generally skip when they are sad. I am glad I get to skip with my girls when I take them to school in the morning. "Skip!" they coax me. We hold hands and skip. Heavy hearts are lifted. Smile on my face. Reminding me to not take life so seriously. We don't see too many adults skipping. Maybe if I did, would people think I am weird? Yes, probably. Sad, isn't it? I never want to be too old for skipping or an ice cream cone.

Life's Awesome Moments

2010-09-23T09:39:00.000-07:00

I felt a sense of triumph and delight when I saw my 6 yr old colored a picture of a hen with a clutch of eggs and she had colored the eggs brown.

Life Defined

2010-09-23T08:43:00.000-07:00

Fall is such a crazy time. The first week kids went back to school, I was utterly exhausted. Dance lessons, horseback riding and play practice. School lunches and fall cleaning. Jam making! I have a crabapple tree. It is a blessing and a curse all mixed in one. I love the soft blossoms which announce the arrival of the long awaited spring. It provides a temporary sanctuary for bees in the spring and birds in the winter, and for the girls all year around as they climb and see the world from the higher ground. I have never been afraid of heights. I actually like it. There is something quite pleasing about being up high. You are free from the hustle and bustle of this world. Free from worries and it even smells better up high! Every fall, I get up on the ladder to pick these beautiful little jewels to squeeze them into jars with lots of....I mean, just a little bit of sugar and they make the most beautiful jelly. Pink tartness bursting in our mouth. We enjoy it all winter long......longing for those warmer evenings and sunshine. But oh the mess. The apples are in abundance. We leave the ones on top for the birds in the winter, but we cannot help the law of gravity. There are always more than I can put into jars....so they fall. and they freeze. and they turn into this mush. With my crabapple tree and an ornamental apple tree (with pink blossoms) and three huge poplar trees, raking is a full time job around my house. As I mutter things under my breath which I am not allowed to say, I rake and rake. But the irony is that those 5 trees are the most beautiful features of my home.

The dust is finally starting to settle around here. We are sliding nicely into our new routine. I even have a few moments to breathe and catch friends for a cup of tea some days.

I am learning that it really is about the perspective and our attitude that define our life. I often hear people say, "I am going on a trip. Husband bought me a Tiffany ring......THUS life is good". No, Life is good, all the time. Life is good even when I am picking up the dog poo in the yard, because I took the time to scratch the dog's ears and throw the ball as he chases it down with his tail showing the obvious delight. As I watch him, it makes me laugh and I am inhaling a lungful of fresh crisp fall air. Taking a little break to bounce on the trampoline with my 3 yr old. Take time to savor the moments. Because this is life. The mundane-ness. Boring tasks. But I have to do it. So I might as well make the best of it. I do not want to live in a series of lost moments because we'd rather be else where doing something 'fun'. (thanks, Ashley for reminding me this!) If the presents and special events are what make our life 'good', I am gonna need lots of presents.

I am even going to take it a step further and say life is good even when things are bad. Even when tragedies come our way. It is often in the middle of trials, we see hope, we see grace, we experience peace. We see that we are not alone.

An Artist's Confession

2010-09-15T08:05:00.000-07:00

I just signed up for a table at the local Christmas Market. When I paid my deposit, a friend asked me, "oh good! You are going to have a table!" And I replied, "well, maybe"...To be honest, I am scared to death about this. I tend to put expectations on myself that I cannot attain. I hate what I turn into 2 weeks before the market.

I am a procrastinating perfectionist. I procrastinate because of the fear of failure. You take this and add a table spoon of female emotions and you will have a psychopath artist whom people avoid and pity. I suppose all the great artists in history were somewhat eccentric or just plain weird.

I sat down and made a list of things I wanted to have at the table. It looked pretty awesome and exciting, but I knew full well that what I will have is less than half of what is on my list. I take comfort in the fact my table will be shared with 2 friends. I hope they bring lots of bulky stuff.

I wonder if it is the time management skill that I lack or it is the presence of fear. I need to figure that out quickly because if it is the time management skill I need to learn, I just have to get out of my jammies little sooner in the morning, but otherwise I may need some expensive psychological treatment.

I hope the sarcasm in this post was more than obvious. I will be fine. Really. I just needed to vent a little and I will have the most awesome table out there. See you all at the Market.

Happy Birthday to Me

2010-09-13T14:17:00.000-07:00

I love birthdays. I get excited about getting older. Birthdays are the reminders of what a wonderful life I've been given. I love my life. I love my man friend. I love my 3 little darling girls. I love and appreciate kind words from my friends. My name will never be on history books and one day I will be forgotten. I will, however carry all the wonderful memories and people in my heart forever. I will not trade my simple insignificant life for all the riches of this world.

Favorites

2010-09-07T12:13:00.000-07:00

How do I possibly choose just a few photos? Here is just a little glimpse of our wonderful summer.

About Ramona, Betty, and Beverly Clearly

2010-09-07T11:53:00.000-07:00

My girls and I love the Remona Quimby books by Beverly Clearly. This summer when we were in Portland, we found the Klickitat Street and cooled off in the Remona Fountain at Grant Park. It's one of our favorite places to visit.

M friend Betty is a retired librarian. She used to give Beverly Clearly tours in Portland and is in fact, friends with Beverly Clearly. In Betty & Wayne's home, she has a beautiful library filled with hundreds of children's books. Many of them are the first edition and others are autographed by the authors. My girls and I spent wonderful few hours in her library looking through books. Betty showed me some letters she exchanged with Beverly Clearly and some photographs and newspaper articles concerning the author.

A several years ago, Betty received a phone call from Beverly Clearly. Clearly lived in California but heard that this winter had been particularly cold in Portland. Clearly asked Betty, "how are my children?" referring to the Henry, Ramona, and Ribsy statues in Grant Park. So, Betty went down to the park with three scarves, fastened them around their neck and took some pictures to put them in the mail for Beverly Clearly.

Sweet stories like this must be remembered.

Bringing the Ocean A Little Closer

2010-08-24T16:54:00.000-07:00

We made some fantastic seashell mobiles with the girls today. I even used Scott's power tools. :) Only a week until they start school full time. Our evenings are getting cooler....even frost warning last night (insanity!!). Trying to enjoy these lazy summer days as much as we can. hillbilly Jillies has a wonderful step by step instructions on here if you are interested. I used some wooden beads and hemp string. Our shells have been collected at the Oregon Coast as well as there are some that came from East Coast Canada (friends brought back a bagful for the girls for taking care of their garden while they were away). East meets West mobiles :)

After making the mobiles, we still had many more seashells. I went down to the thrift store and found a large glass fish bowl and filled it up with the shells. I thought this makes a fantastic bookend.....

It's lovely having those wonderful reminders of the ocean in my home.

Rachel Carson Quote

2010-08-18T00:48:00.000-07:00

"'How can I possibly teach my child about nature - why, I don't even know one bird from another!'

I sincerely believe that for the child, and for the parent seeking to guide him, it is not half so important to know as to feel.

If facts are the seeds that later produce knowledge and wisdom, then the emotions and the impressions of the senses are the fertile soil in which the seeds must grow. The years of early childhood are the time to prepare the soil.

Once the emotions have been aroused - a sense of the beautiful, the excitement of the new and the unknown, a feeling of sympathy, pity, admiration or love - then we wish for knowledge about the object of our emotional response.

Once found, it has lasting meaning. It is more important to pave the way for the child to want to know than to put him on a diet of facts he is not ready to assimilate."
Rachel Carson, The Sense of Wonder

Postcards

2010-08-18T00:20:00.000-07:00

In this day of emails and texting, it has become such a rare thing to receive a handwritten letter in the mail. I love letters. I love getting mail. A while back, I had asked my parents if they would send postcards to my children when they are away from home. My dad travels extensively with his work. My kids love seeing stamps from different countries.

Once in a while, we get postcards. It is a highlight of our day. We have received many. My parents send one for each of the kids. From Spain, Singapore, Korea, USA, Sweden, Thailand.....Most recently, from Italy. We live through their postcards, trying to imagine what it is like over where they are. And the post cards are always signed off by "We love you and hope we can see you soon".

Maybe it's time for us to find a postcard and let them know how much we appreciate it and love and miss them.

Back....and here I am

2010-08-17T22:15:00.000-07:00

We have just returned from our wonderful time in Oregon. Many of you know how much I love Oregon. How much I treasure my time there. How I long to be there. Every time I go, I leave a piece of my heart there. In fact, my heart lives there. Yes, it is a beautiful place. I love the Ocean, farmer's markets, wonderful hikes, concerts in the park, arts, splashing in fountains, wonderful fresh local food, ethnic food......The basil leaves from farmer's market were the size of my palm. I told myself, I'd eat fresh basil every day while in Portland. Although these are all wonderful reasons to love the place, they are merely superficial reasons.

22 years ago, I decided to participate in a home stay program that was offered through my high school. Spend 3 weeks in Portland, Oregon with a local family to experience the culture and to learn the language. I was to write a generic letter of introduction to my 'Dear Host Family' who would be chosen randomly without any input from me. That's how it all began. Who would have thought after 22 years, we still remain friends....actually family. They are my family. We treasure them. We are thankful for them. We love them dearly.

My heart soars every time we drive along the beautiful Columbia River towards Portland. I cry every time we say good-bye. This summer, we went to Oceanside and walked the beach looking for agates and sea shells. We hand harvested mussels to have for dinner with wonderful local veggies and wine. We explored the OMSI, Splashed in the fountains, visited farmer's markets. Met some new friends and visited with some old friends. Lime-aid stand for the girls. Visited with the neighbors' cat. Parks and food stands. Went to a County Fair and swam in the pool. Watched the wind surfers. Tried lots of new food. Hula hoops and berry picking. Ice cream cones. We read lots of books. We had no time to watch TV or be on the computer. We skipped down the street hand in hand. We took time to be together. To really listen and to invest in each other.

That's what I really love about my dear friends. They invest in us. They invest in our children. They are a wonderful example of what a family should be. My kids learned so many games, so many things about the nature. We took time to watch the spider spin her web. It's inspiring. Really. In my heart, I know that's how I want to be everyday. To take advantage of the every opportunity to be inspired and to learn together. Loving the world which is full of wonder. God knows I try, but some days, I am just simply tired. The mundane day to day tasks which need to be done. I am so thankful for people like David, Carolyn and Emily. I saw my kids come alive. Confident and inspired. Trying out new things without the fear of failure. Kids know when they are loved and valued. Thank you for being in our life. Thank you for the best time ever.

I want to hold on to this renewed heart. That is why I am writing this. This is for me. I want to remember this. Set aside my own agenda and selfishness and to invest. I am learning to take life slowly and savour it. Life is so amazing and I am glad to have the gift of family and friends who willingly come along for the ride.

“If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder without any such gift from the fairies, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in”--Rachel Carson

Feeding Time for Baby Robins

2010-08-17T22:05:00.000-07:00

Adieu Little Birdies

2010-07-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, July 5th, we woke up to an empty nest. I felt sad. I wondered this is what you'd call an "Empty Nest Syndrome". A friend told me that the mother may come back to lay more eggs. We are hoping she will. This morning, we actually saw one of the babies awkwardly perched on our hedges. Stay safe, little birdies. Thank you for sharing with us the wonders and joys of watching you grow. Here are the last of the pics I got. I have an amazing video of mother bird feeding the babies. Maybe I will post it one day when I know how to do it. Thank you for letting me share this adventure with you. I hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. Now, I must figure out what to do with the time I used to spend watching them....maybe I need a new hobby :)

*the nest is getting crowded......

*I loved watching them sleep. Don't you love the fuzzy 'crowns' on their heads?

*This one was taken the day before they left. The babies would stand on their nest and flap their wings.

Once Again......Robin's Nest Updates

2010-06-27T20:30:00.001-07:00

Babies are growing everyday. We can now hear them chirping when it's time to eat. We are so pleased to see them doing so well. It is an exciting thing for our family to witness. Scott spent 40 minutes on the ladder waiting for the perfect kodak moment, forcing us to take life slowly and appreciating small miracles. Mom and dad robins are ever busy.....and protective.

The Art of Conversation

2010-06-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

I love MaryJanes. I live in a pair of MaryJanes all summer....so much that I have MaryJane shaped tan on my feet. I have a pair of red ones that are full of dirt and grime, stained by spilled juice.

I have always had the hardest time getting shoes that are comfortable. I have wide feet. Last summer, I needed a pair of shoes. I went through the mall hitting all the shoe stores only to be discouraged. When the store clerks would help me, they all looked at my feet and laughed at them (under their breath) for my uneven tan.....these ladies were all *well put together with blings, the latest fashion, hair styles and of course complete with fake tan. I didn't like the way they made me feel, like I don't take care of myself or something. I hit the last shoe store in the mall feeling completely defeated. I had a young male sales person help me. By this time, I am getting rather self-conscious about my tanned feet. So, I warned the clerk about my feet and laughed nervously. He took one look at them and said, "That's so great. That means you are having a great summer!" I just wanted to hug him. And of course they had a perfect pair of shoes for me.

Update

2010-06-23T08:05:00.001-07:00

I need to leave them alone for a while now. I nearly got killed by the angry mother bird (totally understandable) when I was trying to take these pictures. They should be around for 2 more weeks or so. I was looking for the beautiful blue egg shells to keep but they are no where obvious. Do they eat the shells for calcium? That's my guess for now. I am completely consumed by my robin's nest. The wonder of life.....such an amazing thing to witness. I can see how it affects my children and I like how it is softening their hearts to the world around them. I see Mona talking to her sunflower--"you are doing so good, sunflower!". Tori will always say "Hi, robin!". Maya excitedly sharing this experience with her class (we email the pics to the teachers). It's a beautiful experience.

Speaking of "being consumed", if you aren't tired of me talking about the nest yet, my robin's nest story has been featured in imagine childhood blog. They have one of the most beautiful and inspiring blogs about how to appreciate nature with your family. Their online shop is also full of wonderful things. Their staff is very helpful and friendly as well (Hi Sarah!).

I Love Dandelions

2010-06-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

I think they are the most wonderful flowers anyone can receive. You know you are loved with the most purest kind of love.

Here is something I wrote a while ago about dandelions.

The Robin's Nest Update

2010-06-08T15:42:00.000-07:00

Here is our beautiful mama robin. She has been sitting on the nest so much more. Looks like she is here to stay. While I was taking pictures of the eggs, she sat on the near by tree and *yelled at me. Totally understandable. Sorry, mama. We will do our best to help you get those babies all *grow-ed up*. We look forward to meeting them.

Day 3

Day 4

Look!

2010-06-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

We were pretty sure that the nest was abandoned. But here is one brave mama robin. We have eggs. Apparently robins lay one egg a day and usually there are 4 eggs total. We will keep checking everyday to see....Trying really hard not to scare the mama.

Day 1 (June 5th, 2010)

Day 2 (June 6th, 2010)

Aren't they amazing!? Waxwings are finally back. A couple of weeks later than last year, but I am glad to see them back. I think we will be looking for them this week in our Mountain Ash tree feasting on fermented berries, getting a little tipsy. My garden is planted. Flowers are starting to grow. Oh how I love summer.

A Surprise

2010-05-31T19:43:00.000-07:00

Do you remember Charlotte? I still think of her sometimes. When I came home today, Scott showed me a robin's nest exactly the same spot where Charlotte once built her beautiful web. It is right beside my front door, the one I go through several times each day. The nest is huge. At least 8 inches wide. How is it that I haven't noticed this at all?

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been going through a bit of tough time with parenting Tori. She is strong willed and 'no' seems to be her favorite word at the moment. I feel like I have lost the joy of parenting. The spark. I pray to God that Tori will learn to obey. Day after day. I am exhausted. I am surviving but my patience is wearing thin and I am not the fun mom like I used to be. It is no surprise that I have walked by a robin's nest 2 inches away from my head everyday and missed it completely.....I have been bellybutton gazing.

The robin's nest reminded me of the time when we used to go for nature walks. Talk about insects and pick flowers. Sit on grass and make friendship bracelets. It really isn't that long ago and yet feels like another life time ago. It was a gentle reminder that I am still that mommy and that the mother is the heart of the home. I am no longer praying for Tori to be obedient. I am praying that I will find the key to Tori's heart. How to touch her spirit. How to connect with Tori.

Scott used a few nails to make sure the nest is secure. I wonder if they will come back and lay those beautiful blue eggs. I am looking forward to the summer (by the way, it snowed yesterday here!!). The lazy mornings and slower paced afternoons. I am looking forward to spending more time with my girls and getting to know them all over again.

Mona the Comic Relief

2010-05-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

May 18th, 2010--Mona decided to go Trick Or Treating. God bless those wonderful neighbors. She got quite a haul. I told her she couldn't go again until Halloween. It's only cute once. But it was fun and Mona and her friends had the best day.

Mona said to me, "you know mom what I LOOOVE? "

"What is it, Mona?"

"I love Itchy-Bum noodles (as in Ichiban Noodles). I wish you would buy them more often"

Before I could explain why I rarely buy those evil noodles full of chemicals, we just bursted out laughing.....until we cried. I take life too seriously sometimes. It's good that I have my girls to lighten it up.

May

2010-05-19T01:43:00.001-07:00

Mother's day. Love these girls. Love my Scott. Breakfast in bed. A boxful of little notes. I love my life. I am so spoiled.

Signs of spring everywhere....finally. We found these robin's egg shells on our front lawn the other day. I am taken by the amazing color. I can look at these empty shells all day. My girls are thrilled. We are keeping them in a little glass jar. I am so grateful to see how my girls are growing up with a sense of wonder and curiosity towards nature and world around them. We love walking together and discovering the world around us. I had a wonderful walk the other day while my kids picked dandelion bouquets for me and we sat and laughed at gophers poking their heads out of their little holes. Tori and I took a little bike ride to a garden centre and said 'hello' to some horses on the way.

I love the simplicity of this life. I am learning to take it slow and really savour it.

Imagination

2010-05-02T00:50:00.000-07:00

Driving to a nearby city for a few essentials and a rare treat of dining out. Maya exclaimed, "Oh look, there is a platypus with a funky hair-do swimming in the swamp". I gave her the puzzled look and she points at the sky filled with beautiful clouds. One of our favorite games. Finding animals in the sky. One of my favorite memories of driving with kids is stopping my car in the middle of the prairies and showing Maya the winter constellations one clear night in February. Maya and I sing along to the Beatles while we drive. I spy. Making up stories. Road trips. Hope you packed your imagination.

Finding the Balance

2010-04-29T10:06:00.001-07:00

Since I put up those hobo bags for sale, things are picking up a little. I have 7 outstanding orders for bags and such. I am not the fastest sewer so, this is plenty. Right now, I am sitting here wondering how I can organize my life in a way so that I can still be present for my family, cook three home cooked meals, get adequate sleep, get stuff done around the house, and then still have time to sew. I don't like having to stay up until some ungodly hours of the day sewing away. Good thing I have a very quiet machine. I want my production to be steady. Right now, it's like this. I sew sew and sew for a week, laundry piling up, staying up way too late resulting in grumpy me. Not so good. Sometimes when I am sewing or cutting fabric, I let my kids have some scraps. They cut. They sometimes do some cross stitching. Sometimes they do some painting at the same table I am sewing.....but other times, they.....well, ummm watch movies. I am trying to pace myself. For now I am trying to keep it slow and when my youngest is in school, I will really enjoy those guilt-free hours to sew. A friend who sew told me she gets up early to sew....not for me. I am happy though with how things have been coming together. I am way better at sewing than I was a year ago. I am learning to make my own patterns and I am getting good feedbacks. I put my heart into every item I make....it hasn't become some boring assembly line production. It's still a form of art for me and not means to make money. The artist in me is fulfilled. It's good considering I have a commitment issue....not good at doing things long-term. So, I will take a deep breath, give myself a pat on the back and will plug away. I look forward to where I will be in a year, 5 years....even 1o years from now.

Rambling

2010-04-27T08:42:00.000-07:00

Discontentment. Is this an universal human condition? Or do we need a healthy dose of discontentment within us so we can thrive for something bigger and better....so as not to get stale? Most of the time, I am content and happy with where I am, my life, and where it is headed. I don't see the point in dwelling on the things we cannot change...at the moment. I know I am rambling. Sure, I'd like a new kitchen. I'd like a new vehicle. I'd like to go to Italy.

I've lived in this little town in the middle of the Canadian Prairie for the last 20 years. It really wasn't my first choice. If I had my way, I would be sitting by the ocean as my children run through the waves with the dogs and my hair dances in the salty wind. It is ironic though that how much I have come to love this place and how much this place has shaped me.

A while ago, I was playing with my kids at their school park when I noticed a little girl I have not seen. Maya told me she is new. I initiated a friendly small talk and found out that she has moved here after her father's death. A new beginning in a smaller town. I found out she lived just down the street from us. I offered helpfully, "we can walk together part of the way". Not even 10 steps out of the school yard, I saw her mother come running over to us. In a 'small-town" sort of way, I extended my hand hoping to make some eye contact, only to get a look of distrust. They walked away quickly with no hope of friendship in the future.

I realized at that moment how 'small-town' I have become. The little girl's mother saw a 'stranger' in me. THAT stranger--the kind you don't talk to, if you know what I mean. I noticed I do that all the time. I can't seem to help my urge to start small talks with store clerks even when I am in a big city. People always look at me like I have got an extra eye in the middle of my forehead.

But I know we are made to be a community. The walls we put up. Self-defense. Survival. Maybe just so we'd 'fit in'. I know we all yearn to be accepted and to be treated with kindness. I love living in a place where I know my neighbors and I can still borrow a cup of sugar from them. I shovel their sidewalks and they let my dogs out when I am away. The neighbor kids fill my backyard and my kids can walk to the store without fear. People genuinely care and hot meals get delivered to my door when I am sick. I hope we will always believe in the goodness of the human race still. I am okay with being the strange small town lady. Maybe one day I can find a community like that by the ocean.

Bad Mommy

2010-04-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

I was mopping my floor while getting ready for some company when Mona spilled a dish full of Tuna salad and cracker all over the floor. I am embarrassed to admit that I flipped out. I was under pressure of getting things ready for company. Mona wiped up the floor and finished her snack. Something else happened which created some tension between Mona and Maya.

I found Mona later with tears streaming down her cheeks and ripping apart a little craft she made a while back (which took her forever and she was very proud of what she made). I asked her what's wrong. She said "nothing". After a little while, she said to me something that I will never forget.

With tears, she told me, "when you got mad at me about the tuna, I felt bad about myself and I feel like I am no good". She was ripping apart her craft because she felt like she was 'no good' so therefore what she made is also "no good".

I said, "I am so sorry, Mona. You are amazing. You are my bestest Mona and I love you. I am sorry I got angry with you about tuna." I hugged her tight trying to squeeze out her feeling of "No good". I realized how much what I say to my kids shape who they are both good and bad. I need to think before I say things. I don't ever want my kids to think they are 'no good' because of what I said....out of frustration. Even when I am correcting them, I can talk in a way that build them up and not tear them down. I am reminded daily what a big job it is to be a parent. I really need reminders like this every now and then. But next time, "I would like the reminder without hurting my child, please?"

Dilemma

2010-04-19T07:47:00.001-07:00

After making these bags, I decided to post them on my Facebook page and see what kind of responses I would get. In 2 days, I sold 4 for sure and 3 more people 'very interested' having one of my bags. I really want my etsy shop to be a little busier. I sold 4 things in about 1 yr I had the shop. Etsy is wonderful, and yet it's so easy for my stuff to get 'lost' as there are SO MANY things being listed everyday. The shipping cost via Canada Post is becoming very expensive as well. I hate to charge 15 dollars shipping on a 30 dollar bag. that just doesn't make any sense to me. But I also feel like it is time for me to get out of my comfort zone and start selling my stuff to *strangers, if you know what I mean. I live in a small town and I feel like I have already exhausted my faithful local fans. Don't get me wrong, my friends have been so supportive and wonderful. It's like when you have a home business like 'Tupperware" etc. and all your friends have hosted a party for you and now you have to get out and promote yourself to the world out there so you can take it to the next level. I feel like I am coming to that point, which is terribly exciting and yet terribly frightening at the same time. I am considering taking a part in an art market in a nearby city sometime.....what to do, what to do???

I Really Love This.

2010-04-03T06:44:00.000-07:00

Cant remember who wrote this.....but love this quote.

" Live. And Live Well. BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now. On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun. If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE. Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time. If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well. Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done-a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed. If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old's nose, don't be disgusted if the Kleenex didn't catch it all… because soon he'll be wiping his own. If you've recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well. At the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you're eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven. And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life. Because-it-is-most-definitely-a-Gift."

Growing Up

2010-03-31T11:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Mona declared, "I want to be a play school teacher when I grow up!" I was delighted and then exhaled a sigh of relief.

Mona is my middle child. She is a peace maker and is extremely easy going. She is kind and sweet. She is also easily persuaded and gets taken advantage of....A LOT. I really have to watch her interaction with siblings and friends because she gets pushed around. She is one of the sweetest children I have ever met.

Mona rarely expresses her own opinions. Her older sister wants to be a vet when she grows up. So did Mona. Her older sister's favorite color is green. So is Mona's. When we got the bunny (which was Mona's bunny), her older sister said, "what do you think, I think we should name him 'Spots'!" "Oh yes, that's a great idea..." said, Mona, although she really wanted to name him "Snowflake". She brings home the book order from school. She is counting out her allowance. She picks something out of the flyer. Her older sister walks by and says, "why don't WE get this?" which is not what she originally picked out. But she buys it anyways. Her older sister is never mean or malicious. She is the first born. And Mona is never disgruntled either. But sometimes I worry. What if when she is bigger, some kids may ask her everyday, "Buy me a chocolate bar with your money" or worse. I have seen it too often. The nicest kid gets taken advantage of.

"Mona, I think you would make a fantastic play school teacher... You are so kind and good at playing with little kids. I can't wait to see you become a wonderful Play school teacher". She wrapped her little arms around my neck. "That will be so much fun, Mommy. I love little kids".

You are the BEST

2010-03-29T22:16:00.000-07:00

Wellingtons, Rubber Boots and Galoshes

2010-03-15T19:08:00.000-07:00

I heard my British friend Barry use the word "Wellingtons" this afternoon when he saw my children in their new rubber boots. I love the sound of the word, "Wellingtons". It sounds so polite and smart, but of course, in order to get the full effect, you must have British accent when you say, "wellingtons". It would sound very pretentious if I tried. I also love the word "Galoshes". I remember when I was a kid, I would walk through the puddles to get the water inside the boots so it made the sloshing sound of the water as I walked. The word "Galoshes" sounds like the perfect sound effect of the water filled rubber boots.

I was a bad mother last year. I didn't buy my girls any wellies. I had some sad sad girls. When I realized the importance of Wellies to small children, it was too late. There were no more puddles left in town. I learned my lesson. Yesterday, we finally got them rubber boots. There is something just very pleasing about wading through the deep muddy puddles with your perfectly sparkly wellies. I remember that feeling. Such a far away past and yet it feels like yesterday. My girls spent hours doing that today. Until of course, Tori peed and wet her pants. It definitely is one of those happy feelings of my childhood.

~The photo above is 4 years ago. Maya is 4 and Mona is almost 2 in it....WOW!~

Making Lemonade

2010-03-11T21:49:00.001-08:00

Maya bashed her finger in the door last night. It's all bruised and blue. This morning, it was still throbbing and I could tell that she wanted to stay home. I felt terrible saying what I said. I think I was hard on her. I made her go to school. I told her that I know it hurts and she probably would want to stay home. Remember when Ranger had to wear that awful cone? He moped around for a few days, but eventually, he figured out how to scoop a tennis ball with the cone, throw it in the air and then catch it. He learned to make the best of it even though he was going through a tough time. I felt terrible. I want to be her hiding place. I wanted to hold her and tell her to stay home. She headed out the door with her throbbing hand up in the air (she said it hurts less) as if she has some questions--we kinda teased her about that too. I felt bad all day and wanted to walk over to school to go get her. When she returned, she was beaming. She told me how everyone helped her with small tasks she was unable to do, like doing up her zipper. It made her feel good to know people cared about her. she challenged herself to write with her left hand, which she thought was fun. She is planning to do a poll among her classmates to see who can guess when her fingernail is going to fall off and offer a prize. She had such a fun day. She chose to have a fun day. Tough love. I am glad she is learning to make lemonade with the lemon she's been handed. *sigh of relief*

Just a Few More

2010-03-11T13:00:00.001-08:00

Some More Photos

2010-03-11T12:51:00.001-08:00

Life as It Comes

2010-03-11T12:16:00.000-08:00

I saw some tulips poking their heads out rather shyly in our flower bed. March here in the cold north can be so unpredictable. So, as excited as I was, I really wanted to get some soil or leaves to cover them up. As I sat there and breathe in the cold but refreshing air, I felt a sense of relief and excitement. The long cold winter is on its way out. Signs of life. Spring. A neighbor told me that robins are starting to come back.

With the change in season, other changes are in the air. I am convinced that I live in the "restless people capital" of the world. I am learning to be content and to live my life with the sense of peace. Maybe one day, we may happen to be the ones packing up and saying good-bye, but for now, we sit. It is okay. And for those who move on, we send them off with gratitude for the time they gave us here and with our well-wishes. Not with sadness or anger.

I realized that it takes a lot of energy to dwell on negative thoughts. We cannot change what life throws at us. I have spent too much time trying to change what I cannot change, and in the process getting wrapped up in negative thoughts and energy. When I do that, I end up missing out on all the beauty and opportunities the life as it is brings me. There are so many people to meet and to inspire me. So much beauty around me. So many people who needs to be touched by what I can offer. I am learning to let go and live each day for what it is, making the best of it. Not to be worried about what tomorrow will bring, because tomorrow may never come. One of the recent changes brought some of my friends to move away, and not being able to have a vegetable garden this coming summer. I tell myself, it's okay. I will get over it. If I am lucky, maybe I will have a small raised bed for a few things like lettuce and tomatoes. No point in getting angry.

It's good that I have been able to spend time with my elderly friends as well as a friend whose husband was paralyzed in an accident. It really gives me a new perspective. They are never bitter nor angry. Instead I sense peace, gratitude, and contentment. No regret. Amazing. Storms of life, they have seen and walked through plenty. But they are not beaten down. They are just like my tulips bravely standing tall looking to the sun in spite of the cold wind and unexpected snow in March. They will come up in all their glory no matter what the weather is tomorrow. I got a long way to go, but I like where my heart stands now and I like the person I will be because of this. I am starting to see it more clearly and little things do not seem to matter so much anymore. Peace.

Learning to Shoot

2010-03-02T20:39:00.001-08:00

Taking a photography class. Enjoying it immensely and glad to have great looking kids who are eager to be my models.

Am I Crazy?

2010-02-10T18:37:00.001-08:00

My day starts out with feeding 3 kids and 2 dogs. Vacuuming, sweeping and mopping of the dog hair and other debris created by my dependents. Our dogs are almost 12....I told myself I needed a break from pets after they pass on. And then yesterday, we added "Spots" to our family. I had about one hour to make up my mind if I wanted to keep her or not. How could you say no to those big brown eyes of a 5 yr old girl? So, I added "Potty training the bunny" to my chore list. Good thing my 2 yr old has been potty trained already. Who would have thought? I must be going crazy or just a little soft. Now, what is the average life expectancy of a rabbit? Truth be told, I kinda like her.....she is pretty cute.

The winner is......

2010-02-01T18:03:00.000-08:00

We chose Lisa......since she made me *blush and told me a funny story! Congrats, Lisa!

This is your lucky day! I will be in touch with you...!

What the Future May Hold

2010-01-26T14:35:00.001-08:00

Each made so uniquely with gifts and strength. I wonder what you will be.....What I know is that I will love you no matter what the future may hold. The world is yours. The future is bright. You make this world a better place by being you.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that - because what the world needs is people who have come alive." (Gil Bailie)

Valentine's Stuffie

2010-01-26T14:21:00.000-08:00

Sunshine warming our cheeks through our kitchen window. It's still frosty outside. How can it be!? Learning that even though I am with the kids all day every day, it is still important to spend one-on-one time with each of them. This is a great project, but also teaching my 5 -yr-old how to sew buttons on.

Craft Hope for Haiti

2010-01-15T21:41:00.000-08:00

There is no doubt that Haiti has been on everyone's mind in the last couple of days. We all want to do something and yet, it feels like there is so little we can do. We have a boy that we sponsor in Haiti through Compassion Canada. As far as we know, where he lives was not affected by the earthquake as much. But the country as a whole is in such a devastating state. They need us. I wish I could just hop on a plane go do something to help. Deliver water, look for survivors, clean the wounds. Whatever it takes. But I am so far away and prayers seems to be the only things I can offer at this point, although I believe prayer is a powerful thing.....I want to do something more practical!

I found out about Craft Hope today and I was excited. I know that I can just donate some money, but for me, donating something that was made with my own two hands feels like I am involved in the process more personally.....so I decided to take part in it. The way it works is this. Anyone can donate a handmade item to be listed on the Craft Hope Etsy Shop they have set up. All proceeds (100%!!!) will go to Doctors Without Borders to go to Haiti.

The zipper pouch above is what I am donating. I just finished sending the information and photos to the person in charge. Just waiting for it to get listed and hoping that someone will buy it. If you are a crafty type, would you consider joining me by donating something you made to Craft Hope?

Update: It's been sold! Thank you!!

Shop Update & A Giveaway!!

2010-01-13T18:06:00.001-08:00

My ever so neglected etsy shop has been updated finally. I have some fun stuff listed. I hope you hop over there and check it out. To show my appreciation for all your support and encouragement over the last year, I would like to offer a zipper pouch of your choice (small or large) as a giveaway! I may even stuff your pouch with some surprises too... :) This contest is open to readers world wide.

To enter this contest, Please leave me a comment below with......

1) Hop over to my shop and tell me your favorite item

2) Tell me what other things you would like to see in my shop in the future.

3) Flatter me, make me laugh with a funny story...whatever it takes to get my attention :)

One entry per person please. If you would like to link this post on your twitter, facebook or blog, you will get an extra entry each time you mention it. Just leave me the link in your comment.

The contest closes on Jan 31st. My family and I will choose the winner on the February 1st.

Thanks for playing!

Christmas......still thinking

2010-01-08T14:42:00.000-08:00

“Many of us find we are trying to recreate some mythical Christmas that exists only in our minds. We’re left feeling dissatisfied by trying to recover the dream of childhood."--Oz Lorentzen, Director of King’s Fold Retreat & Renewal Centre

I used to hate Christmas, because that is exactly what I tried to do. I used to have one of those crying juvenile hissy-fit, usually around December 12th. I didn't know how to get that "Mythical Christmas". But a couple of years ago, not sure what changed, but I quit trying so hard and just let things happen. Contentment is such a HUGE thing. Instead of trying to MAKE traditions, listen to the kids and they will tell you what is important. Instead of trying to make 25th the perfect day, I try to enjoy the process of getting ready, and being ready in our hearts. We really enjoy observing advent with our kids. We have children's advent calendar with Christmas stories we read.

"Are you ready for Christmas?" What an awkward question!! It only means do you have everything bought, right? This year, we didn't decide what we were doing until 2 days before even having to change plans so we didn't get to do what we really wanted to do. But we felt completely at peace and content with what Christmas is going to be. We had a quiet Christmas with a small roasted chicken. Perhaps not the "perfect" Christmas by others' standard. No relatives, No turkeys.

I can truly say we have peace, joy, hope and Love. All those things that Christmas really represents. We have them not only at Christmas time but all through the year. And I am grateful for that change in my life. I LOVE Christmas. Not really sure exactly what it is that made this change for me......will let you know when I discover.

The Last Little While in Pictures

2010-01-08T14:13:00.001-08:00

*Treat time for Bootsy*

*School Christmas Concert*
*My attempt at Wet Felting*
*A Little Helper*
*Christmas Morning 4 AM*
*Beautiful Winter Morning*
*Weeeeeeeeeeee*
*Thai Food for New Years Eve*
*Friends*
*Happy New Year*
*11 Years Together*

Renewed Energy

2010-01-08T13:56:00.001-08:00

Took a break from sewing over the holidays. Now my head is bursting with all the cool ideas and my hands are eager to start sewing again. This coming year, I would like to do 2 markets and put more things on my etsy shop which has been neglected for a while. I have been working on making more useful bags. I made this. Let me know what you think. It's about the size of those reusable shopping bags. You can see that I have added LOTS of pockets. The whole front (the stacking doll fabric) is another pocket too!

Come back to my blog in a while. I am thinking about hosting a giveaway soon.

A New Camera.....

2010-01-08T13:53:00.001-08:00

.....makes a messy kitchen look rather artistic.

Salad Rolls

2010-01-08T13:28:00.001-08:00

I am taking part in a 30 day challenge to get healthier. So, I thought it would be appropriate to post this recipe. It's my version of Vietnamese/Thai Spring Rolls. I like having these for lunch! When you order these in a restaurant, they have rice vermicelli noodles inside with a tiny bit of veggies. I find that to be redundant. So, I just put a whole bunch of veggies and shrimp and/or shredded chicken depending on the mood. Kids love taking part in making and they love them too! I think it's a good time to start thinking about getting healthier. For me, I would really like to take better care of myself this year.....

Here is how

You will need

-Rice papers(a big round kind)--check this if you are not sure what they are. You can find them in most grocery stores in big cities. Try an Asian aisle.

-Any veggie you might like....I like cucumber, carrots, red bell peppers, cirantro, green onions, lettuce, alfalfa sprouts

-Shrimp (cooked, shells removed, cut in half length wise)

-Shredded chicken meat (I like using the leftover from rotesserie chicken)

1) Julienne all veggies (it tastes better if you can cut them smaller/thinner) Finely chop cirantro & green onions

2) Mix all the veggies in a bowl and toss it with a fork

3) If using chicken, add the chicken to the veggie

4) Put some boiling water in a pie plate. Soak rice paper one at a time in hot water. When soft, put it on a dinner plate. Put veggies and shrimp (about 1/4 cup) on the rice paper, wrap it up like a present. Repeat....

5) serve them with spicy peanut sauce(I just buy the sauce)

Try this video on how to roll as it's kinda hard to explain. I just mix all the veggies together instead of separating them like in the video. I think it tastes better.... Enjoy!

Tacky

2009-12-22T23:41:00.001-08:00

Christmas

2009-12-11T21:24:00.001-08:00

I love unpacking my Christmas ornaments. Each one hold a special memory or meaning. Some remind me of someone special. As I hold each one in my hand, I think of them and pray for them. I remember the first few years of marriage, Scott and I barely had enough ornaments to cover a very small portion of our tree. We would shove our tree into the corner of the room carefully arranging the only string of lights we had and hang whatever ornaments we had to the front half of the tree. Now, after 13 Christmases later, we have gathered so many more with memories overflowing our hearts. 3 more little people added to our family. I used to hate Christmas. It was merely another reminder of how alone I was. Now, I love it. We have some traditions. We have faith. We have peace in our home. Joy and wonder as kids listen ever so intently for the sleigh bells which ring in their imagination. I am surrounded by so much love. Merry Christmas.

Making This and That

2009-12-11T16:08:00.000-08:00

I love this season for just hunkering down and getting creative, otherwise the winter would really be dreadful, because truthfully, I really hate winter.....

I've been wanting to make these acorns for a long time. I had to buy the caps from an etsy shop down south though. They are so fun. I have some felted balls that are too big for the caps which I think will be nice to make into birds nest with eggs.....

I love these birds. Each year I give my girls Christmas ornaments. These birds became our favorite this year. I think I'd like to make some more to have them around the house all year. To view how to, go to this link.

I also want to show you some of the things I've been working on for the last 6 months or so. The first Christmas market was a riot. I had so much fun staying up way too late spending time with my dear friend Ranae who shared the table with me at the market. She's been my good friend for over 10 years, but we really haven't spent much time together, and this was so much fun. Here is Ranae at 2 a.m. She got a Q-tip fuzz stuck to her finger.....It was funny....probably because it was 2 a.m.

When I got sick of sewing, I brought out my fimo clay and played with my kids. These are my little robots....I love them.

Bibs are made out of men's cotton dress shirts with wool felt appliqué.

Cute little purse made out of very soft upholstery fabric.

My trade mark zipper purses. Oops! They need to ironed a bit. They are so cute and handy. My best sellers.

This is one of the many Vintage tea towel bags I made. They are so fun, because you never know what design you are gonna get. I have some towels from England, Australia, Ireland and some that are Calenders from the era I was born. They make great shopping bags!

I even painted. One day, I just got my water color out and just wanted to paint something. His name is Tobias. I printed it into cards for my family to use. I have 3 other designs of different Tobias expressions.

As I look back this last year, I feel so happy that I have actually accomplished something. Back in February, I told myself that I would like to open up an etsy shop and start selling some of my handcrafted items. So, my shop opened up and I sold a few things. I met some lovely fellow crafters. I sold some other things to some friends locally and I was also able to have a table at my local Christmas market. I was very satisfied with the outcome of the market and had fun sharing the table with my friend Ranae. I want to thank everyone who supported me and encouraged me. I am so grateful for the friends who stopped by the market. I look forward to the days ahead. I hope to hit more markets and maybe in a few years when my youngest is in school, I would still love to be doing this somewhat full-time. We will see what the future brings. I am happy when I am making something. I am also happy to say that when I see my stuff, I see the true reflection of who I am. Some takes forever to make and I don't make enough money off of them. But I haven't compromise the design or the uniqueness of the items in order to make more profit. I am just having so much fun.

Thanks also to my talented friend Mel for taking some of these pics above.

Halloween

2009-10-27T09:34:00.001-07:00

Two years ago.....

Last year.......

This year.....

I LOVE Halloween!!

P.S. If anyone wants to know how to make these costumes, let me know. I am happy to share my ideas!! And these are all my originals.

One More Month to Go.....

2009-10-26T12:24:00.001-07:00

Only one month left until my very first attempt at a craft market. The pressure is on! Sometimes, when the pressure is just too much, I need to get away and do something completely different for a while. So, there! I painted alien rocks with my kids. I'm almost done with Halloween costumes too. Renewed energy....here is to doubling my stock in a month!! *keeping my fingers crossed*

All You Need is Love

2009-09-28T13:18:00.001-07:00

It is becoming increasingly clear. The more I think upon it, the simpler it gets. "All You Need is Love. Sounds cheesy, I know, but it's really that simple (and I might add I am a big Beatles fan).

Many years ago, when I was in College studying theology, I spent a few summers at a camp for people who live with mental and physical disabilities. We met our teammates, who also were young, energetic with passionate faith. Late into the night, we would discuss faith, theology, which inevitably turned into some arguments. One day, the camp director gathered us together and pretty much banned us from discussing any theology. He said, "Our faith must be simple. Love God and Love Others. Period. Stop arguing all the petty points in the Bible because that will only pull us apart. Work together for the common goal. Love." That was over a decade ago. And so often that very words echos in my heart. "Love God and Love others". "Build Bridges".

I had a phone call from Compassion Canada telling me that we have been sponsoring our 3 beautiful 'children' overseas for 15 years now. They just called us to say thanks. I asked about our first child, Edrungi, who went missing from the project when there were some political turmoils in his country. They said sympathetically that even if he was safe, he would be 29 years old now. He would have been long gone from the project. "Pray for him", she said. I wept. All you need is LOVE.

Friends shared some photographs from their trip to China. They visit abandoned and disabled children and raise money to better their lives. They hug and play games. Their children go with them to witness their mom and dad.....love in action. All you need is LOVE.

I spend a few hours a week with seniors with dementia. We drink weak coffee together. We talk. I listen. We hold hands. We laugh together. I love these amazing people. I was overwhelmed by how much love I felt for them. I can't wait for next week. All you need is LOVE.

Back at camp, we changed soiled beds. Cleaned up 'accidents' and held people after seizures. We sang songs and shared meals. What difference does it make if Adam was with Eve when she gave into the serpent's temptations? All you need is LOVE.

I spent a day in the city. Walked through streets where homeless people roam, holding out their hands for spare change. I rummage through my purse. I don't carry cash. 75 cents. I felt embarrassed. I just paid 4 dollars for a cupcake. There is a man with no legs. I saw a young girl chase after a homeless man with a 5 dollar bill. "Excuse me, this is for you". A smile of an angel. I hand out my 75 cents to a man. "I'm sorry I only have this". I held his hands for a few seconds longer praying that he would find his way back so he doesn't have to do this. It's not my place to judge if he spends it on food or drugs. All you need is LOVE.

I have experienced and witnessed too often how in the name of faith and theology, people tear each other apart instead of finding the common ground. It saddens me that the ones who treasure their faith so deeply are sometimes the ones who violate the very basic commands--"Love God and Love Others". It only takes a small gesture, simple words, and a smile. I hope I act upon it daily. If we hold our heads high and look around, opportunities are plenty, every time you turn a corner.

A Magic Trick

2009-09-24T09:00:00.001-07:00

Do you have these Cheesy Souvenir Tea Towels hanging around in your house.....you don't know what to do with....??? I'll bet your grandma has a few........
Voila!! This is what I do! Fully-lined with a little pocket inside. Vintage button accent. Pretty neat, hey? They will be available around Christmas this year..... No one steal my idea!! :)

Autumn

2009-09-20T23:08:00.001-07:00

*Locally grown, organic crabapple jelly goodness*. I just had to say that because it sounds so much more pretentious(!) than "I made these myself!" :) My kids and I have been busy picking our apples and making beautiful jelly. Don't they look lovely in the sun? Some of these jars of *goodness will be traveling far and wide to bring much joy to my dear family.

Life....

2009-09-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

*Speak words that are Life-Giving.

*Don't hold grudges--forgive.

*Hug

*Smile at store clerks

*Say "Thank-You"

*Look up and watch the birds.

*Tell your family and friends how much they mean to you.

*Give everyone a second chance or third or even fourth.

*Make your home a place of peace.

*Take time to express gratitude.

*Allow mistakes and extend grace.

*Honor others' opinions and choices.

I'm working on these......do you have a list too? Something I should add?

A New Challenge or Two

2009-09-09T09:05:00.000-07:00

I had to drop something off at my kids school at lunch time. As I walked by a classroom with about 20 children enjoying their lunch, I was surprised by the amount of plastic wraps and zipper bags overflowing out of a very large garbage can. I decided to take up a challenge. "Lunch with as little garbage as possible". I'm not going to beat myself up if they have wrappers her and there though. It's a mindset. A small thing I can do. It also saves money.

When I started to think about the lunch, I realized it will naturally lead me to making more homemade goodies, which will also be beneficial to our health as well. I've been meaning to share this idea. People who know me may think of me as a bit of a 'health nut' and perhaps I may get excited about organic food and such. In part, it is true. But I live in the middle of prairie where we have short summers and LONG winters. The nearest town is an hour away. I don't buy organic food. I would love to. Just not practical for me. But we try to eat 'real food'. In the last few years, we've been trying to stay away from most prepackaged foods or eating out. Instead, we have well-balanced home cooked meals. I love making homemade soups with lots of veggies. Make pizzas from scratch. Macaroni and cheese, you can make that with whole wheat noodles with homemade cheese sauce. Try to get food with ingredients that you can pronounce. And you know what? My family has been so healthy. We have had maybe a handful of sniffles, but nothing major. And I am pretty certain it's because we eat 'real food'. You might say, well, we have picky eaters....be patient and keep trying. They will come around. Involve them in the process of growing veggies and cooking them. Like I said before, I don't beat myself up over one fast food meal once in a while or a package of Ichiban noodles here and there. After all, although I have good eaters they have given me the "best mom award" for feeding them Ichiban noodles. We have to extend grace to ourselves and allow ourselves to enjoy junk food once in a while. If we have hotdogs, we would make an event out of it. Invite friends over for a hotdog roast in the backyard. If your child wants pop, allow her to have one when out for a meal or I might get healthier kind like "Spritzer" or "Blue Sky". You get the idea.

I wonder if anyone would like to take up the challenge of "no garbage lunch" or "eat real food" or even both?

Wise Words from a Wise Bear

2009-08-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
Nobody can be un-cheered with a balloon.
Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness; however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.
Don't underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.
If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.
If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together. There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.

Looking back, Looking Ahead

2009-08-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

Feels like it was yesterday, my kids brought home a backpack full of school work and crafts. Where did the time go? Marks on the wall measuring Mona has grown almost 2 inches since the spring. All three girls have amazing tan from being on the beach. A week from today, they will be back in school.

Our summer was not what we had planned, but I am filled with a sense of satisfaction. We had been looking forward to our trip to Oregon, which at the last minute, had to be canceled due to lack of work for Scott. But plan B was also wonderful. We spent 6 glorious days in BC camping with some friends, deepening friendships and sharing sun and laughter. We stayed at a campsite which sits on a small lake. Our children, young and old splashed countless hours in the water. Meeting other campers and their dogs. Spinning on a Merry Go-around until we felt dizzy. Kids standing up for each other in the playground. Sharing food and many hugs. The joy that the simplicity of this life can bring overwhelmed me. I am glad and I am blessed to know there are people in this world that we can share these moments with. Friends know, like and trust. They are lovers and ally. They empathize. They are loyal. And this summer, I realized that I am surrounded by such people in my life. Aside from our BC trip, I had the joy of taking a road trip with my dear friend Ashley to go see our mutual friend Jo. Having many friends and family stop in and spending few nights with us. Sharing food and wine. I want you to know that you are gifts. The most amazing gifts. For some, I have not picked up the phone or seen them in a long time, but we just dust it off and embrace. Thank you. The time has passed and we have grown. So have our children. But we remain, our love and loyalty to each other deepen. And those of you I missed this summer.....I think of you all the time wishing there were more of me to come see you!! Miss You so dearly!

On a more practical note, I am already looking ahead. School in a week. Phew! I just want to (for my sake), write down the things I hope to accomplish in the next while.

1. Finish the 3 books I started--"Three Cups of Tea", "Obasan" and "The Curious Incident of a Dog in the night Time"

2. Continue working on my art to fill a table at Christmas Market.

3. Continue Running with Lola until it gets way too cold

4. Make some zucchini loaves and veggie burgers to fill my freezer

5. Smile!

6. Watch what I eat and lose that last 15 pounds, or even 20 :D

7. Enter the winter with a positive attitude so I don't get too depressed!

8. Prepare my garden for next year.

9. Oh and I am going to be voluteering with seniors with dementia to do some art with them--wish me luck!

There you have it. Now, it's time for me to go and enjoy the last week of summer with my darling children!

2009-08-24T16:55:00.000-07:00

I have the hardest time keeping secrets. Now, I don't want you to be worried, if you are one of those who have opened up your heart to me. I keep those secrets well. But I have the hardest time keeping things I am excited about, my latest creations or if I bought some one the nicest gift. I have to go deliver it even if meant that I was waking you up at 2 am just because I think you would love what I picked for you.

I've been working on some projects to fill a table at local Christmas market. I know it sounds crazy that I am already thinking that far in advance, but with the way life is going lately, I am beginning to think it's alright. But every time I make something, I have this urge to show some of my faithful *fans what I have created. But I am trying really really hard to keep it a secret, just so that when I do set up my table at the market, people will be excited to come see me.

I have made some good progress though. I had an opportunity to wander through Market Collective in a near by city, which is an art market with live music and some excited supporters. I was delighted to discover that I could possibly have a table there one day. I was also able to talk to some of the artists and one of them even offered to share a table with me next time. I think anyone can relate that when you meet someone who share the same passion, you get encouraged and reassured about what you are doing. I walked through a beautiful park to meet up with my family who were waiting for me at a splash park, picked up a falafel wrap at a deli, checked out "Shakespeare in the park". I felt alive and rested, inspired and energized. I do not regret or grudge what I do now as a mother. I love holding little chubby cheeks in my hands to tell them I love them. Endless cleaning and laundry. I would be lying if I said I never raise my voice--ever! It is a season and pretty soon, I will be begging the girls to spend more time with me. But perhaps because my life is so..... mundane and normal, I really cherish a day like last Saturday. I was just me, not 'Mona's mom' or "Scott's wife", just me. I met people who was thrilled to exchange ideas. It was fun!

I'm excited when I am able to sit and create something beautiful. However, as much as I am thrilled to sell something and be appreciated, when I do, I feel a bit sad, like giving up a puppy or even a child. I always give one last hug good-bye to my creations when they go 'home'. Kinda funny, isn't it? But maybe it's good. What I create is becoming so much a reflection of who I am. I put my heart into creating each item. It's more than 'making little money'. In fact, I really could care less about money.

I am looking forward to having a table full of my creations. Maybe it's good that I am looking forward to winter so much, since I usually dread the cold....

A Faithful Friend

2009-07-12T16:50:00.000-07:00

He parks himself in front of the girls' bedroom door on the nights Scott is late coming home or away from home.

He is a beautiful creature. It's amazing how a silent friend can give you so much comfort and love. We have so much to learn from them. I am always uncomfortable with silence. Always wanting to fix the problems.

I like you. I like you lots. Thank you for making my life so beautiful. You are my favorite boy dog.

2009-06-23T15:25:00.000-07:00

I buy my eggs from an elderly couple whose house is a walking distance from my house. They live a simple but very joyful life. I love going there to ask her some gardening questions. Today, her husband came out to show my 4-yr-old his 40 year old asparagus patch and a little wren house. I love to see what new flowers are in bloom in her English garden each time I stop there. She makes my day. I value taking time to talk and get to know my neighbors. I value building relationships by bridging the generation gaps. I don't ever want to be in such a hurry that I don't have time to stop for a chat. I treasure having people in my children's life who would take time to listen to them and to hold their hands....I am blessed and I am rich.

Happy Birthday, Tori

2009-06-19T12:23:00.001-07:00

It's hard to imagine my life without her although I've only known her for 2 short years. I feel as though she has been a part of my life since the beginning of time. Today, we celebrate her. This bright light. This beauty. A belly-full of giggles.

I love it that I was CHOSEN to be her mommy. I am her 'ma-ma'. No one else. Lucky Me.
*We got this sweet Bamboletta Doll for her birthday. "Polly" came from West Coast Canada, from Christina the creator and a team of people who work with her. Everything is handcrafted with so much love and carefully chosen materials including cotton knit, wool for stuffing, wool yarn for hand knit sweaters and hair etc.....all the wonderful things. I love being surrounded by things that make me feel the connection to the creator and knowing that it was made with so much love and thoughts. And of course, no one was hurt in the process....that has become increasingly important to me as well. It is truly inspirational. We fell in love with her the moment we opened the box. I have given Christina some ideas as to color preferences etc for the doll but didn't give her any details of who Tori is or anything. But when I saw Polly, I started giggling, because Polly is Tori. Two peas in a pod. So cute. She will be treasured for sure.

2009-06-17T00:09:00.000-07:00

As I sneak into my girls' bedroom and watch them sleep, I feel as though the time is slipping away like water running between my fingers. The shoes and shorts from last summer are too small. Time to pass them down. Put the bike seats higher. I desperately go and find those photographs from the years gone by. Wanting for those tender feelings to return. The smell of a newborn baby. Play School. A dandelion Bouquet. Her first steps.

After reading this post, my soul is awakened as it defines what kind of a mother I want to be. And yet, somedays (or most days), I am too tired and too lazy. Not-so-nice-mommy-days, I want to do without. I don't want to wake up wondering where the time went. "Preparing the soil" in our children. Sense of Wonder. Curiosity. Compassion. Joy. Oh this sweet beautiful world. I want to discover with them. I am hopeful. School is out in 2 weeks. Bird watching. Shall we try some new recipes? Watch our vegetables grow. Lemonade stand. Star gazing. Learning new games. I can't wait to immerse myself into the lazy long summer days with my children. Lean together. Make new friends. Laugh more. Breathe deeply. Forgetting the dirty dishes and going to the park. Picnic. Give lots of hugs. Ice cream for breakfast.

Our children have only one childhood.

Giving Heart

2009-06-16T23:53:00.000-07:00

All I can say is "I am so proud of this girl!" She is going to give her hair to Cancer Society to be made into a wig for someone with cancer. I am honored to be her mommy.

A Little Update

2009-06-16T23:39:00.000-07:00

For the lack of inspirational things to say......

* Spoiled rotten on mother's day

* Finished reading "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle"

* Vowed to cook more interesting salads this summer

* Made Black Bean Salad & Greek Quinoa Salad--Keepers!!

* New sewing machine

* Sold 3 more pouches

* Made a tote--great reviews by friends

* Need more time to sew

* Thought "Benjamin Button" was interesting and handsome

* Preparing for my baby to turn 2

* Started Aquasize

* Parents coming for a visit in about a month

* Still hoping to go to Oregon

* Really hoping to go to Oregon

* Very likely going to Oregon

* Vegetable garden growing

* Flowers growing

* Bought a Bamboletta doll for Tori

* Maya had her big haircut to give her hair for Cancer society

* Loving the hot weather

* Loving Mulbec wine

* frantically gathering ideas for father's day

* Anticipating a great summer with the kids

* Loving my family more than ever

* Missing my veggie burgers

* Anxiously waiting for the fruit, veggie and corn trucks

* Hoping someone will offer me some raspberries this summer

* Looking for a great cupcake recipe

* General disposition--content

* Hoping to help girls make a lemonade stand

* Wanting to read "Three Cups of Tea" next

* Craving fresh fish

* Waiting for my Kale seeds

* Hoping to make time to do some mosaic

* Really wanting to mosaic around my front door

* Still Lusting after this purse

Featured!!!!

2009-05-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

I am the featured artist at etsy item of the day site today! Please go and check it out and support me by posting some comments!

Thanks, Jackie of etsy item of the day for this honor!!

Birds

2009-05-20T22:21:00.000-07:00

I heard somewhere today that one of 'the secrets of happiness is to find beauty in small things in nature". I think it's so true. I love it that my kids and I can spend days discovering little miracles of this life. Plants and animals, stars and clouds. One of the favorite games we play as we drive is to try to find animals or anything at all in the sky. We look at the clouds and tell each other what we see. It's so fun. They are so imaginative. We also stop our truck in the middle of the farmer's field at night to show our kids the stars. We are fortunate to live in a place where we can still see the stars.

Yesterday, We had amazing bird sightings right in front of our house. We saw Bohemian Waxwings and Western Tanagers. Yes, I am turning into bit of a *geek. We use our Birds of Alberta book to discover and keep track of what we see. Kids are always eager to enter their discoveries in their 'nature books'. I really thought they did a fantastic job. Maya's getting quite good at adding details. I quite like Mona's chubby Tanager.....very lovable.

Garden

2009-05-11T22:03:00.000-07:00

We are sharing a garden with a friend this year. The spring has been very slow and cold....but look at these garden stakes. The planting season is just around the corner. We are excited.

The are just made with paint stir sticks with acrylic paint. I may varnish them before taking them over to the garden.

I've Been Featured!!

2009-05-07T19:55:00.000-07:00

Today, I got a delightful email from Sam from ink.lore saying that she has featured my shop in her blog today. How exciting! If you would like to check out this mention, click on here. Be sure to check out ink.lore as well......she has some lovely blockprinted accessaries in her shop.