Saturday, January 31, 2009


Mar 16, 2008

I was fourteen when my mother took me to Tiffany’s in NYC and bought me an ‘open-heart’ pendant. That was when if you wanted anything from Tiffany’s you had to go to NYC. I remember treasuring it so much. I kept the cheery blue box and the white ribbon. Whenever I was not wearing it, I would carefully place it in the box and tie the ribbon around it.

It’s been a long time since I even purchased anything that was unnecessary or frivolous for myself. Not that I mind. Motherhood does the funniest thing to a person. I used to LOVE shopping. But now the thought of going out of town nausiates me. I would avoid shopping at all cost. And when I do go shopping I can feel my heart beating faster and faster as I put more things in the cart and I have to get out of the store before I have a cardiac arrest. If I buy anything, it is usually for the kids. Once, I had the luxury of being in a book store without the kids…but I marched straight to the kids’ section wondering if they would like this or that. The way I neglect myself is so bad that my husband has to buy me toothbrushes, otherwise I wouldn’t think of exchanging them.

Friday was my last art class. For the last 3 years, I taught art to a group of people with developmental disabilities. Just once a week for one hour for about 4 months out of the year and the person organizes provides me with a babysitter and I get a pretty nice payment each time. I stash the cash in my underwear drawer and think of the perfect way to spend it. The money has always come in handy. I paid for my bathroom floor, gave it to Scott for his monthly poker nite, kid’s birthday presents…Scott’s birthday party was entirely paid by the money I made from the art class.

Now I’m looking at the last of the money from the art class and thought perhaps I could buy something totally frivolous just for me. Not for the kids, not for Scott, not for the house….just for me!? The delicious feeling of guilt washed over me as I googled “Tiffany & Co.”….This is totally out of my character. I’m a super practical and simple creature…I own 1 pair of earings and 3 necklaces which I hardly wear. I have a pair of shoes I wear with everything. But I may have found just the thing..

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