The Gift of Time (for my friends)

I’ve never been a ‘group’ person when it comes to friendship. Even when I was younger, I didn’t just hang with one particular group of friends like many do, especially girls. I enjoy getting to know people as individuals and I tend to float around getting to know many people. Now that I live in a small town, it’s quite easy to know a lot of people just on a ‘friendly casual’ basis. I always wonder if that’s good or bad. Because I know many people I tend to spread myself thin and once in a while, I get overwhelmed with this desire to know just a handful of people intimately. I crave that intimacy, openness, and the freedom to be transparent to someone. See, because I am not a group person, sometimes I find myself alone which is funny considering how many friendly faces I know.
May is one of my favorite months. Signs of spring give my so much delight and hope. But in May, it is often that I say ‘good-bye’ to friends. Once again, I am facing the possibilities of ‘losing’ many friends. I see that changes are in the wind. Time for some to move on from this place we call home. Although I have come to accept this to be a part of life here in a town which is rather transient, it still gets me down and meloncholy. Somedays I just get down right angry that no one is going to grow old with me here and think to myself ‘why invest in people when we just know they are only here for such a short time?’ But is that really what I should be like? I look back at the last two decades and think of the people who came into my life. Most of them for a short brief moment. I only keep in touch with just a handful of them. But they all have left some lasting impact in my life. I am grateful for the time we spent together. They were brought into my life for different reasons and I am grateful that they gave part of themselves to me. They inspired me, helped me grow and discover myself, gave me the shoulder to lean on, cried with me and laughed with me. The ironic beauty in all this is that we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. We don’t know when or how this time given to me and a friend will come to an end. I want to give my heart and myself to my friends–freely and with no regret even if it meant that I was going to be sad in the end. I don’t want to miss out on the gift of friendship because it may only last a short time. After all, some of the most beautiful things in life only last such brief moments…

Thanks my friends. I treasure you for the time we shared. I look forward to the days to come no matter where life may take you…