Wednesday, September 15, 2010

An Artist's Confession

I just signed up for a table at the local Christmas Market. When I paid my deposit, a friend asked me, "oh good! You are going to have a table!" And I replied, "well, maybe"...To be honest, I am scared to death about this. I tend to put expectations on myself that I cannot attain. I hate what I turn into 2 weeks before the market.

I am a procrastinating perfectionist. I procrastinate because of the fear of failure. You take this and add a table spoon of female emotions and you will have a psychopath artist whom people avoid and pity. I suppose all the great artists in history were somewhat eccentric or just plain weird.

I sat down and made a list of things I wanted to have at the table. It looked pretty awesome and exciting, but I knew full well that what I will have is less than half of what is on my list. I take comfort in the fact my table will be shared with 2 friends. I hope they bring lots of bulky stuff.

I wonder if it is the time management skill that I lack or it is the presence of fear. I need to figure that out quickly because if it is the time management skill I need to learn, I just have to get out of my jammies little sooner in the morning, but otherwise I may need some expensive psychological treatment.

I hope the sarcasm in this post was more than obvious. I will be fine. Really. I just needed to vent a little and I will have the most awesome table out there. See you all at the Market.


Di said...

I am sure you will be fine! I too have signed up to have a table at the Winter Craft Fair in Newburgh - we did it last year and will be doing it again - there are 3 or 4 of us sharing a table - but I am already beginning to feel the pressure! What to make!! And I always feel inadequate compared to the friends I share the table with!!
I think you are right - we will both be great and we will both enjoy the experience! Can't wait to see what you are making!

Lola said...

Can't wait to see pictures of what you make.

Ashley said...

Your stuff is always wonderful! Just relax and enjoy every minute of what you do. If it stops being fun and feeding your soul, what's the point?
I'm looking forward to seeing what you make this year!