January 3, 2014

I cooked Indian food yesterday.  I don't know the last time I tripled a recipe.  Tripled recipe means friends are coming over.   Butter Chicken and Beef Vindaloo but before that, we had an array of wonderful appetizers to tease your taste buds.  Kitchen is my sacred space.  

 I used to have friends over often.  We would feast on amazing food and wine paired with good friendships.

As we enter 2015, I am putting behind the pity party.  My love for dinner parties has caused the delusion that pity parties are better than no party at all.  2014 was marked with the year our dream ended, our hope stripped away and we stood naked wondering who really is on our side?  The wounds like that can leave scars for a long time.  I still have a scar from when I was an infant.  Sometimes, scars can change you forever.  I've grown to be less trusting and more cynical.  I am not proud of that.  I have also grown to be more resilient and I have been glad for the strength to persevere and the ability to work hard.   I am the type to over-analyze and try to see some life lessons.  I am still not sure what the lessons are for the 2014, but I am choosing to move on.

Sometimes, we hold onto anger because we want people who hurt you to know how much they really screwed us over.  We want them to suffer.  I tried and nothing happened.  That's when I really wished I believed in Karma.  Since that's not an option for me, I am forced to embrace things like hope beyond all hopes and peace which passes all understanding.  Joy in spite of present circumstances.

So, back to Indian food.  One of the things I have neglected since moving here was to have people over.   Although hospitality has always been one of my greatest joys and strengths, circumstances change, fear sets in and I have been living like a hermit.  This year, if nothing else, I am going to have more people over.  You could call that a New Year's Resolution though it wouldn't go well with my ongoing resolution to lose 20lb.

The evening was absolutely perfect.  I was reminded how much I loved this and have missed it.  The food was done right.  The wine glasses overflowed with beautiful flavours and happiness.  To me, sharing food is sacred.  Food brings people together.  Carefully prepared food forces us to slow down and focus on one another.  Our senses are awakened.   The pitter-patter of children's feet.  Adult conversations with occasional immaturity which left us in stitches.  Lots of hugs and friendships deepened.

2015 is going to be a great year because I am going to make it so.  Having a treadmill in my basement isn't going to make me healthy.  Getting on it faithfully does.  2015--Action required.  That's how I am going to live it.  By acting upon what gives me hope, joy and peace, leaving behind the fear of failure and pity parties.

Who's coming over next week?