Bad Mommy

I was mopping my floor while getting ready for some company when Mona spilled a dish full of Tuna salad and cracker all over the floor. I am embarrassed to admit that I flipped out. I was under pressure of getting things ready for company. Mona wiped up the floor and finished her snack. Something else happened which created some tension between Mona and Maya.

I found Mona later with tears streaming down her cheeks and ripping apart a little craft she made a while back (which took her forever and she was very proud of what she made). I asked her what's wrong. She said "nothing". After a little while, she said to me something that I will never forget.

With tears, she told me, "when you got mad at me about the tuna, I felt bad about myself and I feel like I am no good". She was ripping apart her craft because she felt like she was 'no good' so therefore what she made is also "no good".

I said, "I am so sorry, Mona. You are amazing. You are my bestest Mona and I love you. I am sorry I got angry with you about tuna." I hugged her tight trying to squeeze out her feeling of "No good". I realized how much what I say to my kids shape who they are both good and bad. I need to think before I say things. I don't ever want my kids to think they are 'no good' because of what I said....out of frustration. Even when I am correcting them, I can talk in a way that build them up and not tear them down. I am reminded daily what a big job it is to be a parent. I really need reminders like this every now and then. But next time, "I would like the reminder without hurting my child, please?"