Thursday, June 16, 2011

Almost 4.

4 seems so much bigger than 3. As she masters more skills and takes pride in her independence, there is a feeling of relief and panic mixed in one. Relief that she doesn't need me to do everything for her, but panic because like water, the childhood is running through my fingers.
I always wanted 3 kids. And there she was. She is nothing like her older sisters. She is spirited. She is unpredictable. To be honest, she has been the one that has most frequently challenged my patience and made me question my ability as a mother.
But perhaps because of her, I will be more patient. I will be more accepting of the unexpected. She will make me a better mother.

Ironic.

Mismatched socks. Fairy wings. A pair of silver mary janes. She takes me by the hand to shows me the world through so much innocence and excitement.

"Look mommy, Robins!"
"I love these flowers, mommy!"
"Worms!!!"
The world is a beautiful place through the eyes of a toddler.
This past year, two of our good friends became very ill. Tori was the one to pray for them. Everyday. Every chance she's got. She said some profound things in her prayers. We saw miracles and they are now healed and well.
It is a beautiful thing to watch your childen make this world a better place by just being who they are. I hope my eyes are open to see it, instead of focusing on the troubles and inconveniences.

I think tomorrow, we will walk to the park and I will push her on a swing high up in the air to hear her belly giggles.

8 comments:

ranae janelle said...

love this girl. AND love you!

ranae janelle said...

i love this girl. and i love you my dear friend!

ranae janelle said...

oops. i think i commented twice. haha. now 3 times : )

Di said...

Happy birthday to Tori! I hope 4 is a good year! She sounds just like me - I was always "trouble" for my mum too !!! Spirited is definitely a good word for it!

Alicia said...

Tori we love you dearly. Your words were so moving "She takes me by the hand to show me the world through so much innocence and excitement." Truly & tears as you shared her prayers. A beautiful treasure.

just sayin' said...

GREAT post!

Lola said...

I love this post but kinda hate it too. Sometimes it feels like I'm separated from my own children when I have to watch my friend's kids grow up on the internet rather than in my own home.

Tori is special and I love her.

Krista said...

oh, Tori. We do love her and I love that she has become one of Jakob's best friends. You're an awesome mom and you are raising her up to be an amazing person. Blessings.