Bootsy 2 days before she died.

Tears catch me off guard. They come at most unexpected times. The alarm clock shows 3:35 am. Even the clock is sleepy. I lay awake and remember she is not here. Tears come. I take an extra long shower and let the tears come.

13 years is a long time, but death always comes too soon. We buried a good friend yesterday. I had to think real hard to know what day it was. Somehow, in our sorrow, it feels like forever ago. It was only yesterday. I am trying hard to wrap my mind around it.

Bootsy had a massive seizure. 4 days later, she died in her sleep as the new day was about to be born. During those 4 days, we tried to keep her comfortable as we kept our chins and hopes up. Maya is away in Japan. "Can you hang in there until Maya comes home?" "But if you have to go, we understand". She would sit in front of our house in the shade of poplar trees and watch the world go by. She would wag her tail and try to get up to greet us, but after two days, the light in her eyes gone and she is distant.

Scott woke me up to tell me it's time to say good bye. We held her lifeless body and told her what a good dog she has been. I tell her I am sorry when I was too busy for her or I got annoyed with her. I touch her silky ears and try to remember how they felt in my hands. I bury my nose in her beautiful golden fur and wish the time would stop. I take her paws into mine for one last touch. It's always too soon.

Our other dog Ranger at Bootsy's grave

Scott took her to the top of a rolling hill and put her to rest, right beside our friend Zippy. He came home saturated in tears and sweat. "The only regret I have is I didn't sleep with her that night". During the 4 days, I would often find him sitting beside her gently stroking her and talking to her for a long time. Man's best friend. Silent and Loyal. She was gracious and faithful until the end. The last conscious thing she did was to get up and greet me when I returned home.

Flowers for Bootsy

13 years is a long time, but death always comes too soon. Tonight, we went to visit her grave. A beautiful spot. I can see her running through the tall grass. Poking her head out every now and then to check on me. She can smell the gophers and prairie chickens. She is grinning. tail wagging. Flood of memories. I let the tears come.

"If it hurts so much, why would you get a dog?", I've been asked.

Because you are their whole world.

Rest in Peace, beautiful girl. Thank you for the wonderful 13 years together.