Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Bootsy 2 days before she died.

Tears catch me off guard. They come at most unexpected times. The alarm clock shows 3:35 am. Even the clock is sleepy. I lay awake and remember she is not here. Tears come. I take an extra long shower and let the tears come.

13 years is a long time, but death always comes too soon. We buried a good friend yesterday. I had to think real hard to know what day it was. Somehow, in our sorrow, it feels like forever ago. It was only yesterday. I am trying hard to wrap my mind around it.

Bootsy had a massive seizure. 4 days later, she died in her sleep as the new day was about to be born. During those 4 days, we tried to keep her comfortable as we kept our chins and hopes up. Maya is away in Japan. "Can you hang in there until Maya comes home?" "But if you have to go, we understand". She would sit in front of our house in the shade of poplar trees and watch the world go by. She would wag her tail and try to get up to greet us, but after two days, the light in her eyes gone and she is distant.

Scott woke me up to tell me it's time to say good bye. We held her lifeless body and told her what a good dog she has been. I tell her I am sorry when I was too busy for her or I got annoyed with her. I touch her silky ears and try to remember how they felt in my hands. I bury my nose in her beautiful golden fur and wish the time would stop. I take her paws into mine for one last touch. It's always too soon.
Our other dog Ranger at Bootsy's grave

Scott took her to the top of a rolling hill and put her to rest, right beside our friend Zippy. He came home saturated in tears and sweat. "The only regret I have is I didn't sleep with her that night". During the 4 days, I would often find him sitting beside her gently stroking her and talking to her for a long time. Man's best friend. Silent and Loyal. She was gracious and faithful until the end. The last conscious thing she did was to get up and greet me when I returned home.
Flowers for Bootsy

13 years is a long time, but death always comes too soon. Tonight, we went to visit her grave. A beautiful spot. I can see her running through the tall grass. Poking her head out every now and then to check on me. She can smell the gophers and prairie chickens. She is grinning. tail wagging. Flood of memories. I let the tears come.

"If it hurts so much, why would you get a dog?", I've been asked.

Because you are their whole world.

Rest in Peace, beautiful girl. Thank you for the wonderful 13 years together.



12 comments:

earthforaliens said...

I'm so glad I had a chance to stop by and scratch her ears one last time...

Thanks for a sweet heartfelt blog post, and for making me cry - just a little bit. Bootsy will always be remembered.

Sheila said...

beautiful tribute to a wonderful friend! When I told the kids they were so sad. I think every one in this town has scratched the soft silky ears of those two beautiful dogs at one point or another...my kids included. Rest in peace sweet Bootsy...

Di said...

I am sorry to hear about Bootsy. My colleague lost her dog a few weeks ago and she too is heartbroken by the loss. I am dog sitting at the moment - a small wire haired dachshund - he's very cute! His owner returns tomorrow and I am sure that even after just 5 days the house will seem quiet!

Marissa said...

I'm sorry friend.

Ashley @ Root And Twig said...

Oh, so sad. We are sorry to hear this news. I remember when you got Bootsy, and we got Leslie! What a fun-loving puppy she was, and just so beautiful.

Carolyn said...

So much history in those 13 years. She will always live in your heart and your memories.
****
"Not the least hard thing to bear when they go from us, these quiet friends, is that they carry away with them so many years of our own lives." -John Galsworthy

ROSALIE said...

Sooooo sorry, Makiko. huggggggs

just sayin' said...

I cried!

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you have the strength to write about the beauty of our life with Boots. Thank you, Kiko for putting our hearts into words.
I think you would have liked the spot that is your final resting place. Boots, it's a place that is quietly beautiful and peaceful, and you would have liked to dance in the tall grass. Goodbye, Boots. I will remember you, miss you and be glad for you in my life.
- Scott

Anonymous said...

Heres a story about Snowboots and I When I was a baby, one day I was sucking my soother Snowboots was on her belly she creeped toward me a little when my Dad wasnt looking, this happened about 5 times!!Then the last time my Dad looked, Bootsy had the soother I was sucking in her mouth but she wasnt chewing on it she was sucking on it the right way just like a baby!



-Maya

Anonymous said...

Here's another one for you guys. When Rach was just learning to sit up and we were over at your house one day, she was on the floor and lost her balance. Before she could topple over, Boots, who was laying down beside her, gently put her leg over Rach's legs to steady her and stayed that way for the rest of the time Rach sat there. So sweet and gently protective. We are so sorry for this sad time for you.
Hugs.

Barbara Jean said...

This post makes me cry as I recently said goodbye to my beloved kitty "Miss Molly" of 11 years. My heart goes out to you for your loss. Our pets become part of us. No more loyal love could one find on earth than the love of a beloved pet.