Initially, this blog was started after much encouragement from a small number of friends who have read my writing. Most of my earlier writings were based on my memory of special events or my 'deep thoughts'. Later, I started adding some updates on my creative stuff and nice photos I took. I never wanted to bore anyone with my day to day mundaneness. With the presence of online social networking available to us, our lives are rather exposed. I can find out what most of my friends had for breakfast by a click of a mouse or satisfy myself with the delusion that I have 'socialized' without leaving the house or seeing anyone. It's fun and yet intrusive. It's perfect though, right? (*insert sarcasm here*) We are all so busy with our activities and families. We have no time for each other.......This goes against everything I believe! I have always never wanted to be 'too busy' to share a cup of tea with a friend, or 'too busy' to help a person in need. I wanted myself and my home to be available and open to anyone that may pass through. Old friends, new friends and strangers. I want to be able to say "hi, how are you?" and actually take time to listen to the answer.
I have also been thinking lately a lot about the 'online image'. I read many blogs, mostly of artsy people that I don't know. Their work and lives inspire me in my artsy stuff. Most of these blogs have beautiful photographs and inspiring writings. Children running through a forest with the most gorgeous handmade dresses and playing with beautiful wooden toys. I am drawn to a life like that. I can't help though, wondering if their lives are really like that. I mean it really is easy to create an image of myself on here as I want to. I can take photos of my children when I am doing some inspiring activities with them and a little help from the photoshop. It's easy for me to mislead you to think that I am this super mom that does all these creative things with them. It's an easy trap for any of us. But I desire to be real. I desire to be "what you see is what you get". Nothing more, nothing less. I am a woman who struggle in my day to day stuff. I get impatient with my kids. Somedays, I wake up thinking where along the way have I lost myself? I look in the mirror and see an empty shell not recognizing what I see.
I am trying to recognize that weaknesses and mistakes are okay. I need to make that into something tangible so I can use them as fuel or even the inspiration to reach something greater and wonderful. When I regret what I said to my kids or how I treated them, I must acknowledge that to move forward.
I am writing all of this to say I am going to write more often of boring stuff on here. It's going to be more like a journal. I may even pretend that I don't have an audience. There, that was long and well, ....boring.